At 52, I've had to start accepting that they will never actually understand/comprehend what I'm trying to explain to them about what adhd is, so I have to just keep it to myself. Don't get me wrong, we are a tight-knit family and full of love. Myself and my 3 nephews are the only ones who have it so the rest think it's just not real, and not really important. 🤷♀️ as long as I know what and why, and learn how to deal with it, that's really what's important to me.
I usually avoid talking about the diagnosis itself, so I just explain my behavior or needs. For example, I’d rather say “It’s hard for me to read long books, I prefer audiobooks or podcasts” than saying “I have ADHD so it’s hard to concentrate on books”. My family is very judgmental, so I find this approach much easier for them to understand.
The question is, do you interact a lot (or enough) with your extended family that they need to know? I'm just saying that because in my family, it doesn't really matter if I tell them or not because I see them so rarely that it doesn't make a difference at all😕
I just say I have it, and if needed what it means for me. Most people around me are open-minded and non-judgemental. For the exceptions I simply don't share anything about my ADHD (or mental health for that matter).