christianedward avatar
christianedward
31
6 months ago

Does anyone know why this happens?

I don’t know how to explain this but I hope someone understands. Sometimes I am in bed and I know I have to do so many things and it would be so much better if I just get up and do them and I’m also conscious about time and being late for things but I just feel stuck in bed and I can’t get up, it’s such a weird feeling it feels like a paralysis or something. Does anyone know why this happens??

oskaradhd2024 avatar
oskaradhd2024
3mo

Hi Christian, yes it happens to me too 😅 !! But without the paralysis. Instead what happens to me, is that I do what I wanna do before sleep, but then if I do that... i don't sleep until 2:00 after midnight 😱 Nooooooo!!

maclif avatar
maclif
5mo

Hi Christian, I’m not a professional in this field, though I went this and therapies enough to earn a PhD (in MY opinion only!). I called it “feeling overwhelmed”. The answer to the causes is the million dollar question. For me, it’s a lifelong challenge to improve along these lines. However, you don’t have to wait till the end of your life for it to improve some. One trick that Mel Robbins said, to get yourself out of bed to start doing something, is count backwards from 5 to 0. It’s like the countdown before takeoff, in the space program. The idea came to her from watching something like that, or whatever, but she later did some scientific research and she found something to back it up. Regardless! if you countdown from five and jump out of bed at Zero, you’ve broken the immobility’s hold on you—this one time. I wasn’t cured after that, but I could get out of bed when I did that. The other thing you need to do is to have tasks so small, that you can complete them and feel successful. If you don’t know how to break the bigger task into smaller ones, then just set a timer. I’m going to work at this for five minutes. After five minutes you’ve been successful. There’s a book called the power of 10 and it’s just doing that for 10 minutes. Whatever you choose to do if it’s easily attainable, and in the success.

KatyMc avatar
KatyMc
5mo

Ooh 💯 percent! And in the moment it’s almost like the consequences don’t matter… ‘oh well I’ll just be late’ 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s like another world I’m in 😵‍💫 and when I get up to do something I just think ‘what was I doing all that time!?’

lanceelyot avatar
lanceelyot
5mo

Yup. My schedule is hugely my own, so it can be difficult to get started in the morning. I had to get up at 5am to get work done when my twins were born. Now I seem to be rebelling against that notion, even though I could use the early rise.

Arfinha avatar
Arfinha
5mo

I'm in bed right now. Making up reasons for myself why it's okay to not have gotten out of bed yet and at the same time beating myself up for being so f*cking lazy and unable to brake the cycle.

Mr Impossible avatar
Mr Impossible
3mo

Struggling with that myself. It feels so ridiculous doesn’t it. I still feel anger, but I cannot let that be my focus… well, I try lol

adivergentdream avatar
adivergentdream
5mo

I’m right there with you! I feel like I live in an almost constant state of feeling totally paralyzed , both mentally and physically, even on days when I logically know that whatever taskbI have on my to do list isn’t difficult, and I’ve probably accomplished the same thing 1000 times before… but the mental gymnastics I have to do with myself to even consider getting my ass out of bed to just begin my day has brought me to tears more times than I’m proud to admit…it’s like an invisible force that is physically holding me down and I have no control over it. I don’t decide which days my brain lets it happen, and that by itself makes me feel helpless af. I’d love to hear any info or advice on the what and why of the “paralyzing stuckness “. Right now, I’m just doing my best to” trick myself “ to at the very least, get out of my head and get up for the day. Once I’m up and attempting to get ready, I sometimes snap out of it and can run thru the day like a well oiled machine, just getting shit done ALL day. Other days though…there’s just nothing I can do to get past feeling so paralyzed that not even an act of god can convince my body/mind to remember how to human for the day..shit, I’ve actually missed my own birthday dinner more than once because I was so badly stuck and sad most days out of the year…I’m proud of myself though for the small wins and the random days that I kick ass. They are not nearly asas few and far between as they used to be!

cuddly avatar
cuddly
5mo

Yes, absolutely. 💯 This is when the NUMO approach of “touching the task” doing the smallest possible starting of a selected task might help you get going. Another approach is “start by eating the frog 🐸” which means doing the hardest task you have been putting off first.” For example, the other day I started with my laundry. Also take a look at your needs however. Are you getting enough sleep? Have you been drinking water? Going outside for vitamin D? (Especially if you are in England you might consider asking your GP about supplementing in the winter months. Possibly get some blood tests done.) Are you eating nutritionally dense foods? Are your sensory needs being met? (Earplugs, earphones, sleep mask, decluttered spaces, etc.) Are you over or under stimulated? These self-care steps are scientifically proven to reduce some ADHD symptoms or at least their intensity. Finally, I find music helps with “executive dysfunction” (hard time starting or transitioning tasks sometimes related to difficulties with short term memory) or body doubling videos or apps (ex. dubbii). P.s. “task pairing” (pairing something you find unpleasant with something you find unpleasant) ex. Music and doing dishes. I hope this helps.

cuddly avatar
cuddly
5mo

Smt pleasant + smt unpleasant= tolerable

nesta avatar
nesta
5mo

I get you. It’s like my body’s passing out and I can’t feel it. My therapist told me it’s cause our body is protecting us from hurting ourselves while moving etc. Otherwise idk… 🙃✌️

martin777 avatar
martin777
5mo

I know that feeling - while it could definitely be task avoidance, as suggested, I know that I have a problem with transitions. Going out of one situation and into the next is often hard for me, even when the next situation is something positive. For example it takes a lot of energy to exit the car after coming home from work, even though the outlook to finally being home is positive, it still takes effort to actually make the transition. I don’t have a perfect solution for this yet, but knowing the issue already helps me a lot in overcoming it.

christianedward avatar
christianedward
5mo

Yep definitely knowing what is going on helps so much in overcoming it! Thanks so much for your contribution ❤️

plannedchaotic avatar
plannedchaotic
5mo

I am more than familiar with this situation. Even take a shower or brushing the teeth seems to „far away“ to accomplish on some days. It is like a wall of nothing that blocks you

adhddog01 avatar
adhddog01
5mo

Every damn time!😆

adhdqueen83 avatar
adhdqueen83
5mo

Yep happens to me all the time, it’s cause the things you need to do aren’t always fun or enjoyable and you stall doing them or you feel over whelmed so find it hard to move and get motivated. Just try one thing at a time xx

ursulamajor avatar
ursulamajor
5mo

Yep, you are certainly in good company with this situation! Agree with what everyone else said- different ways of sharing about the overwhelm/freeze state that’s super common in adhd

canipetthatdawg avatar
canipetthatdawg
5mo

There's another thing related to this, named "demand avoidance", if it's specifically true to you if SOMEONE ELSE or SOCIETY demands you to do "the thing" 🙃😅 Our tricky little brains are really making it a challenge sometimes 😅

Unknown avatar
Unknown
5mo

Ohhhh my my! Yes yes! I struggle with this as a project manager in my job. I feel like 100 eyes are watching & some are expecting me to fail 😭

canipetthatdawg avatar
canipetthatdawg
5mo

U are absolutely right, carrieg, thanks for the addition! 🥰

carrieghere avatar
carrieghere
5mo

There could be some perfectionism going on as well. Perhaps in those circumstances, part of the reason you can’t get up is because your brain has convinced you that you need to do everything in the best/complete/most efficient way possible, and that will take so much time, effort, and mental energy that you slip into a “freeze” response. Perfection paralysis. Perfectionism makes a simple “to do” list look impossible, because there is only so much time in a day. Knowing that’s at play allows you to make the conscious decision to get a B+ on efficiency and your finished product rather than an A+.

canipetthatdawg avatar
canipetthatdawg
5mo

The reason you get stuck there is called "task avoidance"... doing the things you need to do seems so impossible and exhausting that your brain/body just shut down and freeze 🥲

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