blessedbymycat avatar
blessedbymycat
17
1 month ago

I feel so lonely

I think i will die alone. I always had a hard time keeping friendships. I now only have one friend who lives about 300km away. The only other person I've had was my boyfriend of three years, but he broke up with about 2 weeks ago. I feel so lonely, and I miss him so much. 3 Three years ago I lost my job, got ill with an autoimmun disease, got diagnosed with adhd, went no contact with my mother, got diagnosed with depression and anxiety, went to a clinic for 8 weeks, had to move and this year I started with therapy for the first time. I'm 28 and I can't keep up. Everything i started ended, because I would run away from situation or simply with just mentally break. I try every day,but I did not enough. He said that because I still didn't found a job, that he could no longer live with this. It completely came out of nothing and i thought that I finally had something good going, but now everything feelins meaningless or like a burden. I feel that I'm a burden for my family or at least they are really worried. I feel like a burden to everyone. I'm sorry for this rant and the probably erratic theme jumping. I'm just crying and needed to get it out. I just didn't wanted to worry anybody.

enigmaticwolf avatar
enigmaticwolf
2d

Im just now getting to see this… this is oddly very similar to my situation- i hope things have gotten a little easier w it all. If it helps any- im pretty lonely too, again, very similar situation, so, i do have those similar struggles… i find myself on a comedown lately, from the very short lived sense of motivation i had going for a few days, and i try to remind myself- every bit counts but… sometimes i dont even know why i bother- It gets harder when everything you do, doesnt feel to quite be satisfying yourself anymore. I long for connectivity, and regardless of the saying “you dont need someone to be happy,” doesnt mean that we arent allowed to (want to, feel wanted) as something that invites happiness… I find myself in the same place time and time again, and i dont understand what i do wrong, that i am not allowed to be something of importance to someone else, as i make them… (even in a general sense). I honestly feel like a really good person, and i do (more than i should) for those i love, effortlessly- yet… im always out of sorts… Anyway, i mean my point is, if you’re ever just wanting to chat, or filter your concerns, or share random thoughts on your mind? I enjoy talking, and i love being able to help where i can, whenever i can. Even if its just to rave on someone- i get it… and your not alone. Im new to all this, but, it never hurts to try. We all deserve a sense of connection. I find that more so these days, its those that are getting harder to find. Genuine people, just wanting to enjoy life w other genuine people. Whats so hard about that?… My heart stands. Im here for anyone who comes my way, and i usually dont ever close the door. I offer all i am, as i am. Anytime, as best i can, that is- we all deserve someone who chooses to be there. Its all that i try to be… its all i ask for…

lenujke avatar
lenujke
3w

Oh I know that feeling and at least you’re not alone with this 😁 at times like this I every time thinking “what would say Samantha from sex and the city?” lol. She’s the best in advices about breakups. Take care about yourself, this world needs you!

jamtart avatar
jamtart
3w

It’s not going to help you if I say “this too will pass” is it? I remember being a little younger than you and feeling the same way after a split up. You’re in a dip right now. Get comfy in that dip for, say, a week? Do what you want, (as long as it’s safe and legal etc). But then draw a line and come out of the dip. It really is going to be ok. Really really truly. But I would give a rigid limit to grief for your past relationship. Set a date for when you’re going to wake up with more experience and knowledge and set out again on your wonderful life. You sound very cool and lovely and I’m sending you hugs xxx

hollyxhit avatar
hollyxhit
4w

Even thought our situations are different. I found myself in your words. You’re brave and strong 💪🏼 take one day at a time. You can do this 🌼

Wishla avatar
Wishla
4w

For me the out of sight out of mind is strong in my family, I feel anxious and think people don't like me or miss me and I forget people, but then we meet and everything is as good as last time we met. I hope you manage to remember someone you could go to because they might not know you are a lonely person and think you are well when not hearing from you. I is scary as heck to reach to talk to someone, but mostly it feels good after...eventhough you might get panic atack after pouring out things if you haven't told anyone anything in a while. Hope you feel better soon💖

happymoonstar avatar
happymoonstar
4w

I completely understand. I’ve been going through a breakup as well. It is really hard. I have also had feelings of being a burden. But you’re not. I’ve learned that in these moments we are an enemy to ourselves. I’m glad that you’re going to a therapist I know for me it really helps. We’re all here for you.

chrrpnppl avatar
chrrpnppl
4w

please don’t hesitate to pour your thoughts out in comfort apps (like numo) - the clarity that comes after a good wining post is worth it, and you are literally not disturbing anyone🥺 you are not a burden - we live our lives on our own, and see the world through our POV’s tiny window. but that window is useful and gives us all good and not good things to experience. maybe it’s selfish, but there is no time and no possibility to satisfy everyone around you and be convenient to them. selfish is good. who else will take care of you so good as you can🥺 I won’t try to weigh your worries and struggle, because nevertheless they are valid. but there is a thing i always remind myself in hard time - that it will be over. like anything is over sooner or later. you won’t have to face the same battles and disappointments all the time. and for now you really need to hold on. so that soon you will enjoy the retrospective view on past events and choose to remember or throw those memories away. wishing you most of luck and love to withstand this hard time💗

blessedbymycat avatar
blessedbymycat
4w

thank you!!! I'm crying now for good reasons, but you all help so much. Really thank you!🧡🧡🧡

rainbowtoady avatar
rainbowtoady
4w

Break ups are really hard especially for us ADHDers because of it affecting our RSD. The fact that you are going to therapy is great. You aren’t a burden. Take some time for yourself. Things will get better ❤️

blessedbymycat avatar
blessedbymycat
4w

Thank you, really thank you. I needed that 🥹💕

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