Non supportive
Does anyone deal with having a partner that doesn’t try to understand ADHD and tells you not to conform to the label and to make you’re mind stronger? or anything along those lines? As if it’s not even a real thing?
Does anyone deal with having a partner that doesn’t try to understand ADHD and tells you not to conform to the label and to make you’re mind stronger? or anything along those lines? As if it’s not even a real thing?
You’re not alone. Aside from partners. Family, friends. In order to spend time with them I have to pretend I’m not me. I have to fake a smile no matter how I feel because it makes them uncomfortable when I’m honest about my emotions and they get angry with me if I discuss them. So I spend all my time alone because I feel unaccepted and even more lonely when there around. When I accept them exactly the way they are and love them for it. Even the traits that piss me off I wouldn’t change because it’s a part of what makes up a person I love.
100% am experiencing the same thing. Sebding good vibes your way, I know how hard this is. She shames me often for my symptoms and tells me that I don't care and that I don't love her. In the middle of navigating this and focusing on managing my symptoms/dialing in systems to be a better husband. Questioning it all though.
New relationship, have been trying to ease him into the adhd world. He is a very organized in his mind, goal focused person, on top of things kinda guy. So when I forgot a couple of things at the grocery store for movie night, "babe, you gotta start remembering things" OMG I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!! problem solved 🙄🙄🙄 I think I'm going to just start pointing out everything I do that works and I'm fantastic at!!
My fiancé is the same way, goal focused very organized.. In his mind and with material things. lol you should see his side of the room compared to mine, you can really see what’s going on in my brain 😂… but my fiancé too gets soooo frustrated with me When I forget things that are on the grocery list or when I misplace my keys, or if we’re about to leave and I have to run back inside because I forgot something etc..his fav saying is “WHY ARE YOU SO IMPOSSIBLE” 🤦🏻♀️ But seriously tho with statements like “you gotta start remembering things” it’s like thank you for pointing out something I’ve been trying to do for years… But yeah maybe if you keep a log of all bc that you do that are good he would see that you are just a human and maybe he’s just being hard on you bc you’ve got something he can’t understand! Sending all the positivity your way! 🧚🏻♀️
I don't have a partner. I'm a single disabled Veteran and i live with my parents once again at 44 years old. I have spent the last few decades being treated for anxiety, depression, insomnia, addiction, and PTSD from War and an abusive husband. Neither the doctors nor the meds they prescribed me did much to improve my quality of life. I had to learn all by myself that i actually have ADHD and I've had it my whole life. It makes perfect sense now looking back at everything. My mom continues to give me guilt trips daily for things that I do not have much control over if any and seems to not care because she lives in Vicki-land where she is the only thing that matters. I text her links that explain exactly how I feel and what I'm going through in easy to understand non-medical terms with hope that she may realize what she has done to me my whole life, but she's too busy doing what she wants to do all day to even listen to a 20 minute podcast while driving somewhere or going for a walk. Then later that day she will send me some article telling me about ADHD. She says that she believes that i truly have ADHD and wants me to get help and be happier, but that is as far as she goes. It hurts. I'm hard enough on myself, that I don't need her help. And now the journey begins...
I finally found a good, supporting man, and yesterday I found my self crying because he didn’t get angry with me when I was sick 🤒 my ex on the other hand took every opportunity to make me feel like a loser, and his favourite hobby must have been to yell at me. I have fibromyalgia, which is a 💩-diagnosis and my ex tried his best to make me think I made it up 🤦🏻♀️ needless to say, I am so glad I decided to move out 💪🏼
I have fibromyalgia also…. I HATE it… it’s terrible! Luckily my fiancé kind of understands that but doesn’t understand the whole me wanting to do nothing and to not push through because I sometimes physically can’t, as you already know it’s debilitating… (he seems to think it’s all diet) when it’s not, it’s autoimmune sooooo 🤷🏻♀️ obviously diet helps but only so much. When it comes to things with a “label” like ADHD or Anxiety, or Depression or saying things like “I need a therapist” he sometimes thinks it’s because it’s the “thing” to do these days that everything needs a diagnosis just because it’s now “popular” to have issues. Which is so heartless it’s like no, these “issues” have always been around they just are talked about more which is a good thing! It doesn’t make you weak or anything! That’s the part of him I can’t quite grasp. He thinks everything can be mind over matter. 🙄 He does sometimes make me feel bad for my forgetfulness and clumsiness he’ll really get annoyed/frustrated with me and tell me to step it up or to be better, and the he’ll go into a lecture and I’m like I ALREADY KNOW IM FORGETFUL! & that I have a OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND mentality! Even tho I’m not purposely doing that but I’m trying! Even with a priority list like he always harps on me about, I forget things! He went on and on again last night about how I need to make a priority and I was like I already have one (and told him about this app for ADHD) and that’s when he was like you should get reevaluated I don’t think you have it, and I was like no, I deff do, I’ve been really learning about it and I’ve had this since I was a child I wish these tools existed years ago school would have been alot easier, plus I’ve been diagnosed by a psychiatrist. Then he went on about the whole “don’t conform to the label and accept it, be stronger than it” like, thank you sooo much for your support and empathy. I’m glad you have someone that understands because I get it, ADHD can be very frustrating to someone who doesn’t have it, but all it takes is some patience and understanding because we are ALL trying! It’s not like we’re sitting here denying the issue. Ugh 😩 so I keep trying to educate him. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
The partner I’m with now gets it and is far more patient- just like I’m patient with him- nobody is absolutely perfect and going to fit another person’s ideal 100% of the time. If a strong, loving, respectful foundation is there a willingness to learn and understand will be there too