Any advice? Mom always guilting me for things she doesn't understand

I'm 44 and had to move back home after a disaster marriage (he ended up being schizophrenic, but hid it until he couldn't anymore. The voices were too hard to ignore. ). Plus I'm a disabled veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom that has PTSD, depression, anxiety, ADHD, and a bunch of physical issues. Haven't worked since 2015 and I'm on VA disability. But my mom constantly asks me when I'm going to get better, get a job, and move out. I assume that ADHD is like PTSD in that its something that is never "cured" just something that you can eventually learn to live with. So I'll never "get better" as she understands it. Yet she seems to refuse to learn about any of these problems so that she actually understands what is going on. It is frustrating to no end and I'm getting to the end of my rope, but I have no other options but to live here with her and my dad. Doesn't she realize that she is making things worse and that isn't gonna help me improve? So tired of sitting in my room alone crying!

Joelay

9mo

I'm a bit younger (29), but I think I get you. I have to live with my parents as well, since I am completely dependent on them (financially, insurance-wise and socially) and I only now realized how bad that was/is for me and that I can't really work on myself while having to spend all my energy for fighting against the emotional gaslighting and manipulating :/

BrandiTheGreat

9mo

Thank you for your response. Knowing I'm not the only one in this position helps.

immavagabond

9mo

Something similar happened to me and living with my mother again in my 40’s was excruciatingly difficult. (She’s better in small doses.) I highly recommend looking into nonprofit services that help with housing, health/mental care, etc. I was surprised at how many there actually were in my area.

BrandiTheGreat

9mo

Thank you for the comment. She literally told me to stop acting like a child the other day. My response was, don't treat me like one then. To which she replied, then don't live here. She knows full well I have no other option. I will look into the services in my area. I'm trying to find out if I qualify for homeless housing assistance from the VA since I am technically "homeless" not having a home of my own.

ImaGroovychick

9mo

Start with therapy to sort everything out. It can be done online. Don't even have to go to an office. That how I do it. That's my advice. Someone objective to talk to helps so much! Much love to you and thank you for serving. 💜

BrandiTheGreat

9mo

I tried looking into that, but because I'm an addict and have mental health issues the online places I looked at wouldn't take me. I guess I'd be too much of a liability or something.

Littlepoundcake

9mo

No advice just coming here to say I completely empathize with how you feel. Also disabled veteran with parents who don’t understand mental/physical health struggles. Sending you love

BrandiTheGreat

9mo

I feel your pain. Thank you for commenting.

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