ADHD = No Friends

I totally get it and agree! That’s why ADHD friends are the best and people who don’t judge your mental instabilities or lack of response. Judgement free zones!

Absolutely!

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true

Yes

I know exactly how you feel. You wrote it perfectly. I wouldn’t be able to simply put it like you did. I feel like this all the time now. When I was working and doing better in life, I didn’t have any of these problems. I don’t understand how I have them now. I guess I’ve grown and changed more I thought in life? I don’t know. I’ve become so introverted.

If my friends don’t text me, unless there’s something I really want from them, I forget they exist!!!

I have friends but I feel like I don't have the time or energy to be a good friend to them. I care about them so much but even responding to a text is difficult for me.

I think about this constantly. Everyone is out on a Friday night and here I sit per usual. I think about all the times I e gone out with coworkers and made some great friendships with them. I used to be busy everyday and night. Now that I’m on disability I never leave the house and not having a vehicle is the extra punch in my gut. How do I cope? It’s hard to make new friends at my age. I look like I’m in my 30’s and feel younger! I have neighbors that I associate with with but not much more than that. In my situation I what can I do to break up the monotony but how? I want friends but also want a close friend to confide in, my partner in crime, silly, positive person, fiesty, someone that’s just happy and whose easy to get along with, well rounded person.

Wow, this is what I’ve been thinking about for the past two hours as I lay in bed after not having friends to go out with tonight, then I see this post… glad I’m not alone

It’s hard to make friends and keep them. I self isolate to deal with everything myself then lose touch with friends

yes yes - i feel like i need to be everyone’s friend but can’t seem to find a close friend

It's easy for me to "make friends" then again who really are my friends? I feel like I know a ton of people, but close friends... I can count them on one hand, half of which is my family.

Yep. I can barely keep my kids alive let alone maintain friendships 😬 a friend texted me in October and asked to meet up - I was away at the time and said "sure! I will text you when I get home" .... did not text her, have thought about it every day since but feel so much shaaaame about it. 😢

Really hard. I get so excited and make plans to make new friends, or go out and meet with some people and then it all becomes too much and I bail and stay at home…..or I force myself to go and then spend the next few days recovering from all the excess emotions. It’s a lot. I feel things deeply way too much. I want friends, I’m afraid too that people will judge me because of how I act, speak and my random interests. I’m new to this. I know that the doctors told my parents when I was little that I had ADHD but nothing was done about it, no help….just told at 16 I have depression and anxiety and now I’m in my late 30’s and waiting for my appointment to get an official diagnosis so I can get some help. Maybe then it’ll be easier? Also….I want people around and I want to be invited to things, but then I don’t at the same time because my mind starts racing and it’s too much. Not sure how that makes sense, but that’s how I feel.

Yes I feel the same.

It's keeping the friendships that are a little harder, I tend to not socialize much outside of work which is probably not the best thing in life for me to do.. so I kinda lose the ppl that I befriend bcuz I don't ever go do anything.

When I went through depression, my adhd made it super hard to feel like I was getting comfort or if I was being misjudged(yall I was bullied in preschool and during my first year of elemantary school)

YES absolutely. Whenever you make friends you get really bad social anxiety and you just feel more comfortable backing out of group efforts. It sucks we all have this and it make its super hard because of either you worry that not your good enough for them or you feel like that person is slipping away no matter what you do you always feel like their slipping away or their not good enough.

Yea absolutely it makes me feel like I should back out of things when it’s a group effort

My struggle lies in the out of sight out of mind issue. Especially when dealing with personal daily struggles life throws my way. Then guilt builds up and I end up afraid to reach out and lose yet another friend 😔 🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

110% I feel unless you have it no one understands you. Especially because you look 'normal' to the outside world so no one adapts their behaviours to help what's going on inside your head. Plus I have super bad social anxieties so just find I'm so awkward when around people and have no idea what to say or how to be friendly! Xx

Yes

I make them easily Hard to keep them but

I disagree! For me it's super easy to make friends, as I keep surrounding myself with like-minded people who are also neurospicy as heck 🌶️😅

Yes

Yup

I find it easy to make friends, but unfortunately most people seem too boring. My best friends have ADHD but then we struggle to meet cos of our ADHD planning problems etc.. I wish I had close friends that are neurotypical and still like me for when I am my crazy chaotic self

My toxic trait was a people pleaser couldn't say no but when I did set boundaries I lost every one 😔 but it woke me up now 💯

Yes, even wanting friends is hard as solitude is too soothing

Felt :( Do you want to be friends with me?

Actually, I found out that: A. Making friends online works better (yes, they count!) and B. I tend to feel most at home in neurodivergent groups. Also.. there seems to be some overlap between ADHD and the Autism Spectrum, while it also kind of masks each other.. Have you considered a screener, and maybe talking to a professional ? Knowing can actually help.. Just something to think about.. ? ♥️

fr

i’ve found that i can make friends, and quite easily (ty masking). it’s the maintaining it part that i struggle with, and as a result - have no friends 😅 sometimes i’m pretty sad about it, but the thought of putting continuous effort into something puts me off changing it. constant paradox 🙃

I 100% feel this. I’m good at talking, but I get nervous I talk to much, and over share a LOT. Then I think people think I’m Weird.

Yeh it’s been hard to keep friends cos I know when they’re lying and I also miss a lot of social cues when communicating with people and they think I’m self absorbed- nah what you just was boring or a flat out lie and I can’t handle it

So relatable. I know a lot of people. I have 2 friends and they don’t like each other. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I struggle with fake people or those that are just so superficial. Get genuine I say. Be authentic I say.

I always found most people to be phony or they show me why we shouldn’t be friends

No i totally agree

100% have this issue. My best friends that I’ve known for years all live in different states from me. Our communication is solely through text and memes. I have one friend locally but again, our communication is basically via text and never in person. I wish I had a way to help all of us make friends easily but I do not. It’s ok though - you are not alone.

I can relate.

I don’t have many friends and the few I do have, I find it hard to stay involved and just find myself isolated because I like doing nothing. I also hate doing nothing.

Yes, I have a hard time making friends before. Think about the blessings in your life write them down, focus on those

i feel like i don’t have many friends and friends i do have, i often worry think i’m too much. i often feel like i don’t really truly fit in with anyone

I feel like that sometimes too.

Being an introvert and ADHD makes it hard

I have lots and lots of friends but I tend to collect many along the way and have to make such a conscious effort to keep them and listen properly to them and absorb personal stuff so it doesn’t always work over long term

I’ve gotten entirely new groups of friends pretty much every year of high school so far bc I tend to be really loyal while everyone else is being fake so towards the need of the school year everyone starts showing their true colours and I end up being the one getting hurt. At this point I’m thinking of saving friendship for college.

Yes. I’ve struggled with this my whole life.

Me and my friend have adhd

In real life, yes, true.

I have friends with other adhd people and very patient people

Yes it’s very hard for me to make friends, I talk too much and text too much.

I quit posting and interacting on social media (facebook, instagram, tiktok) 3 years ago because it just was too much for me and since then I lost about 90-95% of my friends/social environment, it's super hard to stay or even get back in contact😣

Yes

The friends I have is because we either clicked immediately or they made a intentional effort to be my friends. They know what’s going on with me.

Yeah, I don’t really have any close friends. Sucks

Yes, sometimes I feel I am not in the mood to comunicate..at all..no responding to messages, no call, no meetups. I just feel IT drains me to even rekord a voice message. It leads to me desapearing fór my friends for weeks, which is hard for them and not all wish to have such a friend. But I do not know how to change it.

i find it really hard to keep female friends.. i have no idea why they always leave me or get upset with me more than guys :(

yes

I have adhd and I’m a extrovert

Real shit tho.

Same here I’m 27& don’t wanna be around people but as soon as I am the feeling of not being understood or being a chore to them & immediately leave or seclude myself 

I feel this 100%

I personally don’t have adhd but my friend has adhd and she has a ton of friends

True,but ngl I've been blessed with a bff that also has adhd so it's smooth sailing between us. We always wondered how we get along so well even tho we go for periods of time in which we don't really talk,or talk at all,but we found out recently that we both have adhd so that explains it

Yes…I sometimes flip from plans and end up ghosting my friends.

I feel like my RSD is my biggest enemy when it comes to this aspect of my life. I also have a skin picking habit which I feel too ashamed about and feel burdened to hide , which further increases my feelings of inadequacy. I just feel unworthy almost …

Yes omg. I don’t have any friends anymore cause i struggling with communication and like all that

Yeah, I hear ya! I’m super introverted and isolative . I have a few friends that I consider close but I don’t see them that often. We text once in a while but that’s about it. I’m ok with it though, I know they care.

Yes!!! I never wanna commit to making actual plans or even really begin to open up that door. The small talk awkward phase is too much. I either wanna skip to the part where we’re best buds or not try at all.

My son feels it too he has terrible time making friends

Right there with ya!!

I see myself as an extraverted introvert sorta. So I make contact easily, but I'm not good at actually making a connection and keeping it. I read about someone being extremely aware of what they're doing since they know they got ADHD. It can be truly overwhelming, but the more you openly communicate it with people, the easier it becomes. It's not about you "justifying" why you do things the way you do, but it takes away any thoughts someone could have. For example; I interrupt people often and speak reaaallyy fast. When it happens I just tell them. And if needed I'll ask them to tell me if it annoys them. This way they get their chance to say something. If they don't say anything after that I can accept that all is good 😊

Absolutely, especially when you’re also introverted. My brain is just against making and keeping friends lol

100000% I never have issues with others with ADHD though...

Yeah, and keep friends. I think one of my good friends is ignoring me as I’m reaching out more.

I was just thinking about this last week. I have no tribe right now. I used to have one, but since Covid and my adhd diagnosis, I am uncomfortably aware of how often I interrupt people, forget names, forget that we saw X movie or talked about Y. If I’m not grounded when this is brought to my attention, I feel like I just planted my hand on a flaming hot burner and just clam up. I am hopeful that I’ll figure it out, that we’ll help each other figure it out 🥰

Yep. - At 43 yrs of age , it now all just started making sense :/

Yes I definitely feel this way and it is only getting harder the older I get

Yep

Yep

Super hard 🫣

Yes!