I just found my husband of 28 years search for local women to hookup
I just randomly went through my husband of 28 years search history on my phone with his Gmail account info. He had a Google search for local women in our city for one night stand or casual flings. This happened once before 3 years ago but back then I found the site he had joined and the 3 messages he had sent asking where he could meet them. I love him more then life its self and this has ripped my heart out. I can actually feel the pain in my physical heart lime its broken. I asked him about it and he said he was just looking at pictures like porn. But pictures or porn wouldn't need to be for local. I'm not stupid. I'll never ever trust him again. He is still so good to me and take good care if me. He still opens my car door after all these years. But how can I believe he actually loves me when that was his Google search. I love him and would never be drawn to search for other men not even for just physical. I'm hurt, confused, and just don't know how I feel or what I think or what I want to do going forward. I honestly don't see this as something I would leave him over. I can't imagine living my life without him everyday. He really has always been my best friend and an incredible friend too. To say my confidence and esteem are decimated is an under statement. Where do I go from here. How do I even get our of bed in the mornings. Why bother. The man I thought loved and worshiped me DOESN'T after all.