How to Not Go Feral on a 10-Hour Flight (UM Edition)

Hi everyone, ok so… I’m moving to the USA this Friday. Like for real. Cuz reasons. And the weird part is I’m moving BEFORE my parents, so I’m gonna live with another family in Oregon for probably at least like 6 months (maybe more) before my dads can come after. I’m super nervous and my brain is doing that thing where it runs in circles and then trips over itself. And now the flight… I need help. Like serious ADHD survival tips. The travel is: Sweden → Amsterdam about 2.5 hours, then I’m flying as an Unaccompanied Minor so I have to sit in the UM waiting area in Amsterdam for like 2 hours. In my head it sounds like they’re putting me in a little “kid cage” or like a holding pen. I know it’s probably normal and safe but my brain is like “welcome to Airport Jail, tiny gremlin”. Then Amsterdam → Portland is like 10 HOURS. Ten. Hours. Sitting. Still. I hate sitting still. I literally can’t. My body starts screaming and my brain starts doing parkour and I get this urge to move or I feel like I will explode. I’ll have my phone + tablet + Chromebook + Nintendo Switch, and my dads turned off the time limits just for the travel days cuz the new family will put their parental controls on my devices when I arrive. So entertainment is not the problem. The problem is me being trapped in a seat and my ADHD being like “nope”. So yeah… how do you survive something like this? Any tips that actually work? Like what do you do hour by hour, what should I pack, what helps with restlessness, what do you do when you get that crawling-out-of-your-skin feeling? And how do I not become “that UM kid” the whole plane remembers forever. Thanks. And sorry if this post is cringe, I’m just trying to handle all this as good as I can right now.

Posts and comments here share personal experience — not medical advice. For treatment questions, talk to a clinician.

spicy

19h

Take a notebook and write about your experience. How you feel, what’s going on around you, use grounding as as write. What you feel (touch), what’s you hear, what smells are there, what do you see and what can you taste. When you feel anxious write about it. What do you notice in your body. Where is it holding the anxiety? What thoughts are showing up? Write about them. What can you tell yourself to feel better? You control your thoughts. If you are telling yourself this is terrible and i can’t sit here for hours, you will have trouble. If you tell yourself this is a once in a life time experience and I’m having the best time of my life, and you pay attention to the experience in real time, you can make it be a great experience. Mindset is everything. Change your thoughts of being anxious to being excited and you change how you perceive the situation, the situation changes. Best of luck to you and we are all here cheering for you. One other thing you can do is close your eyes and imagine you are in your happy place. A place where you feel calm and confident and safe. Use grounding while you image being there. What do you see, hear, feel, smell and taste? Are you with your grandpa? If he is a person that makes you feel secure take him with you in your mind. Imagine he’s sitting with you, feel his arm around you comforting you. Your mind is powerful, use it. (And sleep as much as you can. It makes the time pass faster) 🫶🏼

swedish boy

13h

Thanks I will think about that! My selfspace now is actually by chosen brother. It's this boy I met on reddit and we have become like brothers but online. We talk every day since half a year back and he means very much to me. His name is Dimitri and he lives in Greece. If I have internet access on the plane (I'm allowed to pay for it with my dad's card) we can chat then he's finished with school. He is 16 so he is like my big brother. I have wrote a song for him. This is the text: [Intro] yeah… uh hi Dimitri it’s me, your tiny confused brother [Verse 1] I’m like, small for my age and everybody can see my hoodie fits weird and my voice is not “big-boy” to me and the world is loud, and it’s cold, and it’s fast and I keep thinkin “what if this good thing can’t last?” I’m scared of the news, scared of hate in the street scared cuz I’m Jewish and some ppl wanna make that “a thing” and I’m scared of a plane, and a new house, new rules like I’m a suitcase kid in some adult-choices school [Pre-Chorus] and idk how to say it without sounding like a baby but my brain goes BRRR and it makes me kinda crazy then I open my phone like “pls be there, pls be there…” and boom—your name, and I can breathe air [Chorus] Cuz you’re my Discord safe place, my chosen brother when the world is mean you’re the one I run under you type one nice line and my chest goes less tight you’re like “hey little bro, it’s okay” and it turns on the light and we can be super serious, talk feelings and fears then one minute later we tell jokes so gross it would scare the whole world but we know it’s not real, it’s just us being dumb Dimitri you’re the best, and you’re my home when I’m numb [Verse 2] They say I gotta move, like… without my dads, to USA and I’m trying to be brave but it feels like NO WAY new family, new room, with a boy I don’t know and I’m like “what if I’m awkward and it starts super slow” what if I’m the weird kid, what if they think I’m too small what if I miss my farm and my normal and all what if I can’t sleep, what if my brain won’t stop what if I smile outside but inside I just drop [Pre-Chorus] and I hate that my life is like timed in minutes like “behave” or you lose the only thing that keeps me in it but then you show up, and you don’t make me feel weak you make me feel… like I’m allowed to speak [Chorus] Cuz you’re my Discord safe place, my chosen brother when the world is mean you’re the one I run under you type one nice line and my chest goes less tight you’re like “hey little bro, it’s okay” and it turns on the light and we can be super serious, talk feelings and fears then one minute later we tell jokes so gross it would scare the whole world but we know it’s not real, it’s just us being dumb Dimitri you’re the best, and you’re my home when I’m numb [Bridge] and you teach me Greece like it’s a secret map and you try Swedish and it’s cute when you mess it up and when I say “I’m scared” you don’t laugh, you don’t leave you just stay, like a big brother should, like I can believe so if the world is a storm and I’m a little boat you’re the rope in my hand and I’m still gonna float [Last Chorus] yeah you’re my Discord safe place, my chosen brother not blood, but still real, like nothing above it I’m scared of the cold world, scared of what people do but I’m not alone, cuz I got you and if I’m in USA and the nights feel long I’ll hear your voice in my head like a stupid brave song and I’ll say “we’re brorsor, forever, that’s it” Dimitri I love you, and I’m proud of it [Outro] ok that’s all don’t laugh too much at the “tiny confused brother” part …actually laugh, it’s fine

swedish boy

13h

https://suno.com/s/bNrE16yAcIc1j9hn

Blabla

21h

it's not cringe at all. I liked akupressur grips for a barbados Europe Flight. And yeah, distraction might help. And Food, Eat again wondering too much... And good luck and enjoy, if it's possible. And tell us about afterwards if you like! 🤞

swedish boy

21h

What is akupressur grips? Thanks! Yeah I will! 🩵

Blabla

15h

I search for you tomorrow, it was acupressure points on hands and arms to be more calm, perhaps you don't need them thou

crazyraccoon

22h

I actually enjoy long flights because I can play games the whole flight.. and airplane food excites me 😂 Maybe buy a new switch game so you can enjoy it on the flight. I’d also recommend you sit on the aisle seat if it’s possible, so you can get up more often.

swedish boy

21h

Yeah thanks! I will ask dads for a new game. I have never been on a long flight before but I don't like sitting still. Its like make me even more wanting to run around if I can't...

Lucy 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

Since you mentioned that you have the urge to move, maybe fidget toys can help (quiet ones so you don’t annoy your neighbors)

Blabla

21h

That's a good idea!

swedish boy

Yeah that's a good ide! Thanks!

emmB@

Hi @swedishboy ! What an incredible life change ! I haven’t been on a lot of flights so my personal experience won’t help you… But I was thinking about the lockdowns, in 2020 and 2021 : we had to optimize our physical exercises ; like : in a limited space, find a way to maximize our physical release. So maybe you could think of / devise some movements that don’t require too much space but will help you keep your ADHD in check ? I you don’t mind seeming a little weird to the other passengers, when you walk around, do some push-ups or squats ?… 😅😅 Also, when I had trouble relaxing and falling asleep as a kid, my father always told me to do a body scan from toe to head and contract my muscles as I went, and when I arrived at the end of the scan, all my body was contracted, and then I had to stay that way some seconds, and then just let go all at once ; it was supposed to help me relax. If not : I had to start again. I must admit I found it tedious, but maybe you’ll like it ?… Hope you’ll have an ok experience on your flight, and will let us know how it went for you, and how your Oregon family welcomed you !

swedish boy

Thanks for you answer! I will Google absolut that body scan stuff... Idk if the airplane personal will let me move around in the aircraft since I'm like not travel like a free person or something... Actually I don't know what rules they have but if in allowed to move around in the aircraft I definitely will!

Julia from Numo

On transatlantic flights, you usually have a screen in the seat in front of you with movies and TV shows, so you’ll have entertainment. But I’d still recommend downloading your own series or something you really enjoy, just in case. Also, you don’t have to sit the entire 10 hours. It’s completely normal to get up, walk around a bit, and do some light stretches every hour or two. It really helps. I’d also suggest bringing noise-cancelling headphones, a neck pillow, and a sleep mask — they make a big difference. And download some really comfortable music too, like lo-fi that you can loop and listen to for a long time. For me, for example, the pressure during landing often gives me a headache, and having calm music really helps me stay relaxed. Honestly, even my last flight a week ago was five hours and it felt so long. And if you’re like me and can’t really sleep sitting up, I just try to do everything possible to make it at least a bit comfortable and rest as much as I can. That said, it’s still not the easiest experience. Long flights are tiring.

swedish boy

Thanks for your answer! I don't know what I'm allowed to do since I'm like a UM traveler so adults will set the rules I think and I have promised my dad's to be like a perfect kid all the time but if I'm allowed to move around I will! It's also like a hard thing for me that Im really nervous about how it will be then I'm in Oregon cuz like I don't know my host family more then I have talked to them a lot on facetime but never met them for real and its like they will be like parents for me until my dad's come to usa so lot different for me. Like i will share room with the son in the family that is same age as me and we will also go to same school and stuff so it's like s person I don't know now that I actually will have ro spend time with like 24/7 for a long time and that makes me nervous so I need to like try not to think so much about this then I'm on the plane I think. Thanks for advice! 🩵

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