taylar4747 avatar
1 year ago


My spouse isn’t letting me be a Let me become an equal partner. It’s just getting worse to where I’ve found hidden things. Please help. What do I do?

BlazN  avatar

Your husband is being psychologically abusive to you. Things like this are hard to know, if, you've not like in to them. It's literally a form of domestic violence. Especially, since, (if you've been diagnosed), you are, by law, in a group of protected citizens. There are legal ramifications for domestic violence/abuse, in the USA. TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. This kind of behavior escalates, and is "crazy-making" techniques of narcissists, using gaslighting to illicit a response. You need to protect yourself from this kind of abuse. Statistics show that where there is one form of abuse, there's almost always other forms present. It's not you that needs help. He needs a reality check, in my opinion.

thumb avatar

TL;DR - Try thearpy / couple’s counseling, set boundaries, get support. Hi Taylar, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I don’t have much advice when it comes to marriage, but have you tried either couple’s counseling or solo therapy? Both routes can give you the tools you need to handle your situation, it just depends on if you’re spouse is open to couple’s counseling or not. If you can’t or already have, have you told your spouse how you’re feeling? I know there’s a chance they may ignore it or minimize your feelings, but if you set boundaries, it may help change their behavior. If not, you will still have peace of mind when you enforce those boundaries. An example boundary could be: “Hey, it makes me feel _ when you _. Could you stop, for me? If you keep doing _, I won’t want to speak with you” (replace this with any consequences you think fits). If you’re still struggling or want emotional support for any reason, try talking to someone you trust. I hope your spouse will work on their behavior. If they are the kind person you married, then they probably will right? For the meantime, focus on getting through the day. Do whatever you need to calm your mind. It gets better. I hope you have a good day.

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