Death

It’s such a phobia of mine. I got so bad that I’d wake up and immediately think “ok I haven’t died in my sleep but will this be the last day I’m alive? How will I die? Etc?” And I’m so scared of it and if it will be painful. Is there something else after death or have I wasted more than half my life already? I’m 36 and I feel like my life has went by so fast and I’ve missed out on having a life. I’m currently reading lots of life after death books and also reincarnation and just a lot of spiritual books. Stuff I’d never be interested in before now really seems interesting to me now.

It’s horrible for me. It’s why I push off sleeping until I am so tired that I will fall asleep instantly. Sometime that’s early morning. :(

I mostly have intrusive suicide thoughts. Sometimes I just can't control it. I'm not suicidal though. I want to live.

Yup all the time

I do things like that all the time when driving or I'll think about crashing

I find myself having thoughts of how I could die all the time. For example driving over a bridge I’d think “I can just drive my car off this bridge and die” Sounds suicidal but it’s not. Idk why I do it I can’t help it