SarahDee avatar
SarahDee
4
2 months ago

Self harm

I can’t regulate or cope with my endless days of work. I work hard for my family. All of my children have AUDHD some more severe than others. And I live with my mother whom is also AUDHD. She’s in heart failure. My husband lives here too, he’s a police officer, but is on temporary disability for arthritis. I do everything. Dr appts, medication, child care, cooking, cleaning, waking the kids up for school, taking them to school, and picking them up. My husband, whom ik is in a lot of pain, sits all day everyday and does absolutely nothing. I have severe lupus and psoriasis and this stress is making me flare so bad. So I hurt too but I don’t stop I keep doing what needs to be done. Because if I don’t no one will and I can’t live like that. So it makes me angry and stressed at my family. Then I feel terrible for feeling that way about them and then it makes me feel like I’m a bad person and I want to punish myself. Why can’t I make these thoughts stop????

naturalchaos avatar
naturalchaos
5d

Perhaps a bit more hands on approach: Make a list of things you Think needs to be done to make the Home work. Make it a checklist. Hand the list over to your husband and let him know you known he struggles with pain, but you are heading into a State of being that Will ultimately break you. Let him Pick his task from that list. Most men wants to be a fixer of problems, but have a hard time figuring out what needs to be done. Hope it helps, you will find your path someday 🙌

tayjae777 avatar
tayjae777
5d

Best way to survive adhd/audh is to take life day by day, hour by hour, and try to use sense of humor as a tool to help navigate through some of the tough times. Praying for you and your family

Pumpkinska avatar
Pumpkinska
5d

Big hugs to you, I just hope you can feel the love from this group xx

sunshineadhd avatar
sunshineadhd
5d

Send my love and support please don’t halm yourself you are so loved

FarmerMel avatar
FarmerMel
2w

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Families are not meant to be on the shoulders of one person. Talk to your spouse about doing whatever he can to help you. When it comes to arthritis the saying is “motion is lotion”. The movement may hurt but not moving at all makes it worse when they do have to move. If the children are of age they can be responsible for some of their tasks like waking up with an alarm and packing their lunches. Families are teams not solo events. My final suggestion would be to get a counselor or therapist. There is no shame in talking to a licensed person who can help you process these feelings. Sometimes you just need to talk with someone who is trained in helping people in this. Sending love.

graskerid avatar
graskerid
2w

This is to much work for one person, FOR SURE. Be honest with your family. The longer current situation goes on the less you can cope. So show yourself some compassion, you are doing A TONN of work for everyone so pat tourself on the back and take time to take care of yourself.

goldenretriever avatar
goldenretriever
2w

Remember, no matter how bad or difficult your life gets, it can always get better. There are people out there who could not stand to live with out you. You matter to this world. You are important to more people than you realize.

squirrelAF avatar
squirrelAF
2mo

I would suggest having some boundaries with your family. I absolutely understand feeling like you must do everything bc nobody else can/will. However I have found in my own life that if I develop boundaries and say I’m sorry but I can no longer do that for you anymore, you would be surprised how many people suddenly are able to take on the responsibility themselves when you politely lay out the boundary that you are no longer going to be doing XY or Z for them anymore. Even the people who love us and we love back can take advantage of us doing everything for them. Do what you absolutely have to do, then quit doing some of the other things and express your expectations of others to contribute more. You literally can not do everything. Make peace with than then give your family the option of the other things either being done by them or not being done at all and see if they step up. It can be a healthy growing experience for everyone involved.

tararolo avatar
tararolo
2mo

I tried to comment but not sure if it went through so sorry if this is a repeat. You have a lot more on your plate than most people so you’re doing incredibly managing even half of what you have to. Is there any way you can carve out an hour each day for some self care activities?

KatyMc avatar
KatyMc
2mo

Ooh gosh what a tough situation 💕 I see you and I hear you.. life must feel like it’s going a hundred miles an hour but you’re still never getting anywhere.. I truly wish that I had some advice or something.. I suppose if I were to write a post like yours, what would you say to me? 😊

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