zeedbraw avatar
zeedbraw
1
1 year ago

i cant clean

I need help. I need DRASTIC help. I have had a depression home for way over two years now. It’s not like a hoarder home, because i do pick up random stuff sometimes, and sometimes I’ll grab a trash bag and pick up random pieces of trash around my place. but thats it. My home has clothes ALL over the place, hobby stuff laying on the floor and tables, all my tables are actually full so I cant put anything on it except if i pile stuff on it. i cant hire a professional cleaner because due to my mental health i cant work so I have basically no money. I dont know what to do. Theres visual noise everywhere, i cant stop freaking out and crying when I get out of bed. sometime i just wont because i dont wanna face the mess. Please. Anyone, help me. I need tips, words of encouragement, motivation, ANYTHING, i have no irl friends, and all my online friends have drifted away, and i am estranged from my family, so I seriously am alone in this. It’s basically just been me and my own mind and self for a really long time— and it’s really starting to get to me. please please, help me

lllaylaaa avatar
lllaylaaa
1y

Tbh if you can afford it get someone to help you or do it for you. If not find a family member or someone. If not set a goal to do one thing a day with a reward. But also you need someone to talk to better health has a therapist you can text,video call,or just talk to on the phone. Vent hunny! Think of easy ways that will make your life easier. I've just now got to where I set a day to do things each day and make times to take my kids for a walk outside .if it's raining we do a dance party. If the want to go play outside I make them clean their rooms first. Simplify things for yourself. But don't overthink it. I'm a huge overthinker and would overload too much on myself and my laundry and dishes would be sky high. I got a white board calender and wrote down things that needed to happen on that day then I got this app and started doing stuff on one day each day of the week. It's really easy for me to lay around and just play on my phone. Not because I'm lazy but if I get up and look at everything I get overwhelmed so I started organizing things that needed to organized. It's not all done but it'll get done and I'm finally okay with that 🥰

isthisme avatar
isthisme
1y

<3

Zelda007 avatar
Zelda007
1y

For one you need to breathe! Find someone and ask for help It is not the easiest thing to do but do it. Next thing is get a hold of a doctor a therapist and get help. Make small goals You don't have to clean the entire house in one day. Like on here make your goals Today I'm going to do the dishes and the trash If that's all you get done then you've accomplished your goals and it makes you feel better about yourself even though the rest your house may look like mine a chaotic fun house so be it If people don't like the way your house looks help me clean it or shut your mouth. It's okay it's not the end of the world have a dirty house, it is the end of the world to stress yourself out so bad about it. Ask a friend to just come over and sit and talk to you while you clean sometimes I find that easier You know when someone's around I feel like in a better mood and more energetic and I get up and I start moving around and clean just say come over and hang out with me while I clean You don't have to do anything Just come over and you know talk to you a little while I do it. Start your day with music or reading or whatever it is it calms you down and meditation yoga buy a punching bag that's what I did but you got to let that shit out or delete you up!

ChrisM avatar
ChrisM
1y

I’m pretty much in the same situation.

samchop avatar
samchop
1y

One thing that started helping me before my meds is getting more storage stuff. I know you said money is tight, maybe see if you already have some boxes that can be used. Put little boxes in certain areas that can be catch-alls. Like now I have a container with all my vitamins and meds and supplements and I keep it under the couch LOL because that's where I sit to take my meds every day and they'll be cluttering on the coffee table if I dont. Get a box for your hobby stuff. When not using it just pile it in the box. These can be cheap boxes from whatever, or ask your neighbors if you can have boxes when they are throwing any out. Shoot get a box for clothes, one box for clean clothes, one box for dirty clothes. It's not ideal but it's a step. It's a step that gives you some space back and reduces the noise

samchop avatar
samchop
1y

I know not everyone wants to do this, but seeing a doc and getting on the right meds could really help you. I'm not sure if you're on medicaid but there are resources if you don't have money. Me personally, when unmedicated I'm so bad at cleaning, it takes so long for me to get the motivation and proper brain functioningj to be able to clean and organize one part that by the time I get another section sort of together, the previous one is messy again. Sometimes inviting someone over gave me the pressure to speed clean the day before. But otherwise it felt like my brain was broken when it came to things that felt like they should be simple like cleaning. It is so much easier on meds.. Like the motivation, but even just my brains ability to pick something up and put it in a proper place

Dolph-Face avatar
Dolph-Face
1y

I highly suggest reading the book, “How to keep house while drowning.” Absolutely life changing.

A. D. avatar
A. D.
1y

This was an honest and hard message to read. I’ve been in a similar situation a year and a half ago and it was really dark and tough…. I was just distracted by the unbelievable mess in my (big) apartment and the visual noise everywhere…. Everyday I didn’t know from where to start, so I just kept piling even more things. People joke about ADHD sometimes in the media and such but your message is really the most honest representation of the pain that some people with ADHD have (especially in the lowest moments). For me I started small, but couldn’t continue. I also couldn’t hire a professional cleaner. I’m even living in a different country than where the rest of the family is. So I called and asked my father for help. I just came clean: “father, I have this life-long struggle since I’ve been an adult and I don’t know what to do”. He was kind enough to take a 6-hour plane and help me at organizing and cleaning things. It took 2 weeks to from both of us to put the place fully in order. It was hard while doing it, and I even cried a lot… Believe me, for a big-a** man to cry in front of their father was not easy… From that moment I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist, where I was put on a 4-month waiting queue. Afterwards, I got the diagnosis and the typical stimulant medications. It helped. It helped a lot…. Finally I was less overwhelmed and doing things that is no struggle to “normal” people. ADHD is a **serious** life-long disability. I’ve personally learnt to accept that and move from there. It was easy to keep the house for me in a good state afterwards. Before my father go back we’ve created a special place for everything big and small in the apartment. Now, with the help of meds, I always keep things in their designated place. I wish you peace in your stormy journey, may you find all the help and support that you definitely deserve 💕

MnSweets avatar
MnSweets
1y

Hang in there hunnie you're doing great! I know it doesn't feel like it, but you're reaching out to others for advice and help, that shows that you're trying and as long as you're trying that's all that matters!! I know the pain, suffering, guilt, torture, brutal, no motivation, and debilitating face of depression and I'm sorry you're in the depths of it right now! When I hit my lows like really dark days that turn into weeks and I've dealt with this my entire life, the one thing that gets me through and trust me I know it's rough and only time will change how your feeling and there's no telling how long it will take but I tell myself this isn't your forever it is just a moment in your life and it will pass and these dark days and these awful feelings will pass, and at some point it will start getting easier and you'll look back and be grateful you made it ♥️ sending love, hugs, and positive vibes your way hunnie!! Keep your head up and fighting the good fight, your a Rockstar and the world needs you!! Never forget how amazing you are!! Some people have the angel and devil on their shoulders, i have my cheerleader who's my biggest fan over the top build me up on one side and on the other is my sabotager who cuts me down insults criticizes and is always trying to get me to believe I'm not worth it, I tell myself my sabotager is the way he is because he knows how amazing i am and if i realize it and live up to my full potential, well I'd be an unstoppable bad a** b**** and would have no need for him so he's always doing his best to make sure I don't realize my worth, but seriously you are a tough strong smart and resilient woman and keep your head up and just know this isn't your forever and always love yourself exactly the way you are good bad and ugly because it's what makes you, you and everyone in this world has a place and is needed, the world needs your unique self and all that you are!! You're OK and you're doing great!!

lalisa.boitel avatar
lalisa.boitel
1y

First of all, we see you and we’re all been through this, maybe not in the same conditions but we can all understand how much overwhelming and stressful your situation is. Even if you don’t have this impression right now, you’re doing a lot, by living and coping with such an environment like this. I know you want a better place to live and that you can do it even if it seems impossible right now. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You obviously will not be able to do all of it with only a few days of work. You will not be able to do a lot of things the first days because of your overwhelming environment. So let’s start small. Take a big basket and try to put the clothes on the floor in it, so you’ll think about that later. First start by trying to remove things from your sight to be less overwhelmed. Only after that, you will be able a little more to wonder what you have to and can do next. Use prioritizing Numo Tools. You can add the most important things you have to do (only the most important, the ones you need to make your home less overwhelming, the ultimate ones you need to feel good) on the app and use the IA, then “prioritize manually” to see which ones are the most important and the most urgent. And do only the first one for the first day. Or just start the first one! You can take several days, several weeks to do one task. You can do online bodydoubling for your tasks (there’re websites like focusmate I think?). Don’t be perfectionist, even if your home isn’t clean, a less overwhelming place is already better. All of this ask a lot of energy, so don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re not alone. You have a community of people who understand you and can help you, even if it’s not irl. We are all with you ❤️

SieveHeadJessie avatar
SieveHeadJessie
1y

Heyy! First of all I’m so sorry your having to go through this by yourself, it sounds extremely hard. I’m sending all my love your way! I wish I could help physically. Although Iknow what I say next it so much easier said than done but please remember each day is a blessing and waking up wether you leave your bed or not is a step forward! Try to do one thing in your home or something for you that you know will make you feel that little bit brighter. For me I really enjoy painting and drawing but the motivations to get it done is bloody difficult even though I know how much I love it and the joy it brings me. Iv recently bought myself a notebook and wrote down every goal I want in life wether it’s far into the future or a lot closer today and I’v made a to do list to try and get some sort of routine in my life and one of my main goals is dedicating 30 mins a day either asking myself a question and answering it, physically doing one of my goals, journaling and reflecting on my day, learning something new or doing something that I know generally makes me feel good and iv made notes of all things in my book, for reference, reminders and memories to look back on my progress however small or big! I downloaded an app called “Me+” yesterday you can set goals like this app but it’s a lot more structured and it’s been motivating to get tasks crossed off. You can add as many or little as possible I literally add “brush teeth” I haven’t completed all I wanted to today but there’s always tomorrow for that! Honestly find some paper and a pen and write how you feel, your thoughts on life, you, any goals and when it’s there in front of you it’s so much easier to dissect and have a clearer vision of “where to start” which is something us ADHDers struggle with! Every time you cross off that task it will make you feel great and the more you cross of the longer the good feelings last! I hope my message has helped you even in the smallest way possible. Also the message you have posted on here is really vulnerable and brave so there’s something positive! You did that! Sending all my love ❤️❤️ I completely understand when I’m that mindset it’s so draining and you feel there is not way out of negativity but there is, just keep going and very soon you will see that silver lining, it’s there just reach! You got this! ❤️❤️

jai.sugumar avatar
jai.sugumar
1y

You are amazing! Hyper motivation!!

SieveHeadJessie avatar
SieveHeadJessie
1y

The app also lets you track mood and notes, track sleep, write reflections, it has its own mediation sessions, exercises, motivational quotes it’s really good! And that’s all for the free version too! X

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