muddygirlmj avatar
muddygirlmj
1
11 months ago

My grandpa passed away

My grandpa passed away today at 4 and moms mad at me cause I’m not freaking out. We were told Thursday he wasn’t going to live much longer so I’ve had time to accept it. AITA for not crying or does my mom have to accept that I am different? He looked nothing like this Thursday he looked so malnourished and skinny it made me sick.

My grandpa passed away
noodlehorse21 avatar
noodlehorse21
10mo

I also experience this anytime someone I know passes away. I always feel weird about it too, like I’m not doing the socially acceptable thing. It’s not that I don’t have emotions or care, I care a lot actually. I think people like us process emotions differently, I don’t usually have the ability to express them externally. I am also an aspie and the way I think tends to be blunt and logical. So when it comes to death and things that are out of my control I just tend to accept it as a part of life, like it sucks to lose someone but imo letting it consume you is much worse than just being stoic about it. I hope your family comes to understand, I think remaining calm could be a sign of emotional strength actually!

tiffanitwysted avatar
tiffanitwysted
10mo

Everyone grieves differently. She needs to be understanding of that. I’m sorry for your loss - love, hugs, thoughts, and prayers to you and your family. Hope y’all find peace - losing loved ones is never easy.

moajune avatar
moajune
10mo

I can feel you ~ I equally did not feel the need to cry at some funeral/over deaths of some relatives or people I had to with more closely although their death shook me. Your mom has to accept everyone is reaction differently, while also everyone has a different relational connection to a person, if it is a member of the familiy!

moajune avatar
moajune
10mo

I can feel you I equally did not feel the need to cry at some funeral/over deaths of some relatives or people I had to with more closely although their death shook me. Your mom has to accept everyone is reaction differently, while also everyone has a different relational connection to a person, if it is a member of the familiy!

shiga avatar
shiga
10mo

So in the last 4 years I've lost my older brother. Both my surviving grandparents, not anymore, and my uncle and I also started working in EMS as a paramedic so I have been involved in the dying process for a lot of people. I've had to do a lot of. "There's nothing else we can do for him." Notifications and I've seen two people react to the same death in such wildly different ways that I thought to myself. Are we talking about the same guy? All that to say you are right it is perfectly okay to handle the death of a loved one in that way, but in this situation I would say that being right kind of takes a back seat. You know, clearly your mother is dealing with it worse than you are and she just needs some patience and some understanding and a gentle touch. So just try to avoid that conflict as much as you can and just try to be as supportive as you can be. Even though it's not exactly fair to tell you to stop mourning to take care of your mom, but just a little grace goes a long way

adhd dawg avatar
adhd dawg
10mo

I’m sorry that you lost grandpa

stefka13x avatar
stefka13x
10mo

Your mother is grieving her father. You both are going through grief differently. It is normal. Please be patient and understanding with your mother.

MrMcMuffinJr avatar
MrMcMuffinJr
10mo

I lost 3 grands in the past 5 years. I loved them equally but never cried once. I couldn’t bring myself to look in the casket each time. Is that normal?

 avatar
10mo

I don’t think you are. I totally get that

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