self hygiene

All of the above advice is helpful! Recommend trying them, if you haven’t already. Sometimes, having a great friend or body double partner/accountability partner who can push you towards the shower (through the phone), and doesn’t get off of the phone with you until the water is on and running, and you’re getting undressed to get in, can heal really helpful - especially if they also struggle with this - and bonus points if they’re going to shower at the same time as you are, so you can check in with each other when each of you are done, usually just a simple message of “clean and out,” or something similar.

for myself - knowledge helps already a lot. For neurodivers people it can already be the challenge of changing- so from dry to wet in shower for example, you can't start start but can't stop either. It helps with handling. And routines- which I have created for me! Not the ones who pleases my mother or (ex-)husband ...

Link routines, like I can’t do x (sth you like)before I have done y (what you have to do) and what works for me best is making some parts of the routine a specific time so you can do most relatively freely but still stay within a good timeframe (e g shower at 8 pm, get ready for bed, sleep at 9 pm so it’s doable). For me those very strict times for some things are the key to keep everything from crumbling down, it’s like jenga you can remove some blocks (changing parts of the routine )but some are essential