Sam ZT avatar
Sam ZT
36
8 months ago

Today’s Advice

Hiring a cleaner to do in 3 hours what it’d take me 3 weeks to do is SO true. I’m living on my own for the first time in my life and hired a “house manager” as she calls herself. She cleans, helps with my toddler, whatever I need, for 8 hours per week and it is LIFE CHANGING. I have had her for about 6 months and she really helps. I feel such guilt and privilege over it, but the people I tell don’t know my day to day life. They don’t understand I’m alone an hour from my hometown, getting divorced, and just need to not feel like all of the responsibility falls to me. If you can afford it, do it!

iamtheshopper avatar
iamtheshopper
7mo

Oh my god! I had a PSW for my boys this summer, and she’d come and in the first twenty minutes of being here clean my living room in what takes me hours to do! Granted the gathered piles. But still, it’s what she did, that I couldn’t do! I could then later work through those piles, so I was so grateful. She’s gone and now I try to spend at least twenty minutes a day in each room doing SOMETHING. But my boys come home, and then in the time they wake up before I get up when they’re with their dad. They do more damage than what I can clean! They’re (almost) six and seven and ALL of us have ADHD. So no one wants to clean, and the rest of the family are also on the spectrum. So it makes the challenges of the household so much more fun. One wrong move in saying something, and I can get not just a meltdown, but a problem that arises. I spent MONTHS looking for a house manager to no avail. Finding the PSW was a blessing, and wish it would have worked for longer. But boys with ASD and ADHD can be a lot to work with especially 2:1. We could never find a second one before she left. *Sigh* No shame EVER in what you have. And to anyone who wants to judge a person who got extra help, F**k them! It’s not easy, there’s so many different expectations on people now between work, families, responsibilities. God forbid you have complications like ADHD that make it all that much harder to struggle through in a day. I don’t even work because of all that I have to do in the day for the kids, and then it’s like, trying to manage the house too! It’s a lot especially with ADHD, I just stare at messes too overwhelmed to know where to even begin. Never any judgement! You’re blessed! Enjoy your downtime! It’s yours!

Miss.Harley avatar
Miss.Harley
7mo

100% do what works for you!!! We get a cleaner in every 2 weeks to clean bathrooms and wash floors and tidy up before my bonus daughters come for the weekend. It’s been a game changer. It also lights a little fire under my behind and I end up cleaning the four hours before they get there. Best $100 for my mental health! I’ve spent that on worse adhd tax 🤦🏼‍♀️

vlad.numo avatar
vlad.numo
8mo

And what’s cool that it’s actually much cheaper than you might expect

koopakai avatar
koopakai
8mo

It’s something I’m looking into once I’m able to financially make it happen 🥲🤣

ameliabjorn avatar
ameliabjorn
8mo

That's amazing! And you need help; I was in a very similar situation, and without help, it was an easy road to depression 💀 happy for you 💘

Sam ZT avatar
Sam ZT
8mo

Ah, thanks Ameliabjorn! None of my friends are divorced with kids, I’m so relieved at least you get it! 🩷

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