(un)diagnosed

Get a different doctor

The struggle is real... And it's even harder because we tend to second-guess ourselves anyway. I'm not trying to take anything away from you, but genuinely asking: why are you seeking a diagnosis? (My therapist asked me the same thing, but put it to me this way: "what will a diagnosis change for you?") And there are so many reasons to get a diagnosis (work/school accommodations, medication prescriptions, emotional/mental validation...) - I'm on the same journey and have so much anger and empathy. Truly trust your gut and keep going, keep trying because professionals trained in diagnosing and treating adult ADHD are rare - but we aren't. I took the TOVA and that sealed the deal for me. Of course, in combination with a few decades of being misdiagnosed, therapy, eventually the right assessments by the RIGHT psychologist. Check out resources in Additude magazine (also online). Finally, I really feel you when you say you keep hearing, "you make it work," and "how did you get through uni?!" Yes, yes you did. But your answer...so spot-on. It's SO EXHAUSTING. And I bet you kept/keep asking yourself, "how is everyone else doing this and it feels so endlessly hard for me?!"

Keep on trying! Change doctors because they don’t seem to know what they are doing. Maybe look for any doctor/institution doing ambulant ADHD diagnostic. Mine did more than letting me fill out some DSM based questionnaire, they had a practical test and talked to me about my questionnaire and daily life. Look for big university hospitals and doctors specializing in ADHD in grownups might offer an ambulant diagnostic. And if you not already did, come well prepared. I wrote all the stuff which makes life hard and I think is ADHD related down and used it in front of my doctor to explain so I can make my point, why I think it might be ADHD. Also I tried to remember that the symptoms of ADHD are also present in other circumstances and disorders. I tried to focus on getting help and not to be diagnosed with ADHD specifically. And as grown ups they should give us a bit more credit for knowing ourselves and also being in need of help.

my sister wrote a letter in the perspective of our mum and then showed it to her and said if she's comfortable and agrees with what was written then she can sign it - she used this and the doctor called our mum to confirm - this worked but was hard to do whilst ensuring mum wasn't overtly offended

same boat

Sadly I don't have much advice, but I'm in the same boat 😕

First, I’d say change your doctor. I didn’t struggle at all as a child, because I learned how to mask early. I was a good student, and didn’t get into trouble at school. I’m inattentive type, and looking back my therapist and I realized that my talkative personality, and my super focus to read a book all in one sitting, etc all check those adhd boxes. Careless mistakes, daydreaming, procrastination, messy room/work space. There are more symptoms, but most people just see these things as “lazy” or “dreamy” and not symptoms.

No I am in central europe

This really sucks, are you in the UK or USA?