(un)diagnosed

I check all the boxes for AD(H)D - but they won't diagnose me since I can't proof that I am struggling with it since child hood - what should I do?

LionQueen

2mo

Get a different doctor

shanoni

The struggle is real... And it's even harder because we tend to second-guess ourselves anyway. I'm not trying to take anything away from you, but genuinely asking: why are you seeking a diagnosis? (My therapist asked me the same thing, but put it to me this way: "what will a diagnosis change for you?") And there are so many reasons to get a diagnosis (work/school accommodations, medication prescriptions, emotional/mental validation...) - I'm on the same journey and have so much anger and empathy. Truly trust your gut and keep going, keep trying because professionals trained in diagnosing and treating adult ADHD are rare - but we aren't. I took the TOVA and that sealed the deal for me. Of course, in combination with a few decades of being misdiagnosed, therapy, eventually the right assessments by the RIGHT psychologist. Check out resources in Additude magazine (also online). Finally, I really feel you when you say you keep hearing, "you make it work," and "how did you get through uni?!" Yes, yes you did. But your answer...so spot-on. It's SO EXHAUSTING. And I bet you kept/keep asking yourself, "how is everyone else doing this and it feels so endlessly hard for me?!"

helpme1980

6mo

A diagnosis doesn’t mean you have to medicate.

kingyoatama

Hey Shanoni, thank you for your support. I hadn't been considering medication, until when during uni it took me until 3pm to just get average work done. So that was one of the reasons. But I think coaching for my executive mishaps would be very useful to. As I am now applying for a job where medication wouldn't be allowed I am not sure what a diagnosis would do. I am in the limbo between fearing I can't get my dream job if I get a diagnosis and fearing that once the assignment is over I will fail because I do not have a diagnosis. Getting a diagnosis gives you access to free resources and discounts through the health system as otherwise I would have to pay everything out of pocket. So it's a real issue. And yes I really wonder, why is it so god damn hard for me to do the "simplest task" but I can refurbish my whole room and cycle 100km with a breeze no prob? T_T

pewpew

Keep on trying! Change doctors because they don’t seem to know what they are doing. Maybe look for any doctor/institution doing ambulant ADHD diagnostic. Mine did more than letting me fill out some DSM based questionnaire, they had a practical test and talked to me about my questionnaire and daily life. Look for big university hospitals and doctors specializing in ADHD in grownups might offer an ambulant diagnostic. And if you not already did, come well prepared. I wrote all the stuff which makes life hard and I think is ADHD related down and used it in front of my doctor to explain so I can make my point, why I think it might be ADHD. Also I tried to remember that the symptoms of ADHD are also present in other circumstances and disorders. I tried to focus on getting help and not to be diagnosed with ADHD specifically. And as grown ups they should give us a bit more credit for knowing ourselves and also being in need of help.

anitas

I couldn’t remember having adhd as a child because, I had taught myself coping strategies, my teachers never knew I was struggeling. And I never knew it was not normal..

kingyoatama

Thank you for your encouraging words! The thing is that I went to (what I thought was) a pretty professional clinic. I did practical tests over 4-5 appointments over the course of two weeks. But I had trouble answering whether or not these symptoms which I have 9/9 from the dsm were present since childhood - there I received 4/9. The only thing they didn't do is measure brain waves. Eventhough they did all the 'professional' tests I got to hear exactly what everyone fears to hear, and especially a lot of women go through: well, but you managed going to uni, well, you don't "seem" impacted enough - a lot of people grow out of it etc etc. But I will try some other day again. Long term it's not the best strategy to go without help.

ziggy

my sister wrote a letter in the perspective of our mum and then showed it to her and said if she's comfortable and agrees with what was written then she can sign it - she used this and the doctor called our mum to confirm - this worked but was hard to do whilst ensuring mum wasn't overtly offended

kingyoatama

Actually this is an amazing idea! Thanks for the tipp!

ziggy

same boat

TriptychWitch

Sadly I don't have much advice, but I'm in the same boat 😕

endbookend

First, I’d say change your doctor. I didn’t struggle at all as a child, because I learned how to mask early. I was a good student, and didn’t get into trouble at school. I’m inattentive type, and looking back my therapist and I realized that my talkative personality, and my super focus to read a book all in one sitting, etc all check those adhd boxes. Careless mistakes, daydreaming, procrastination, messy room/work space. There are more symptoms, but most people just see these things as “lazy” or “dreamy” and not symptoms.

kingyoatama

Here it is 5/9 for adulthood and 5/9 in child hood as well. And i got 9/9 for adult hood and 4/9 for child hood. And she didn't want to give me that single one point more. But it is very difficult to say about child hood as I was a very unsupervised child and switched/moved schools a lot and rather well behaved as well - I always escaped the drama before people could get suspicious. And my parents blindly adore me so all they would say is that I am 'perfect' - even though cute, this statement is not helpful as I am truly struggling

kingyoatama

Yeah I think in the long term I have no choice, but I am fed up to pay money and spend time filling in forms, driving to appointments to basically be judged for the fact that my life works out. Well, hello, the whole point is that I am always on the verge of exhaustion ever getting to invest in my passions cas I am too invested in living a 'normal' life and for all the effort I put in I get punished. Because 'if it was so hard then why could you finish Uni?' and 'you know some people grow out of it' ........ Aghh

endbookend

In the US, adults must meet 5/9 of the criteria in the DSM-V.

kingyoatama

No I am in central europe

jonxdavies

This really sucks, are you in the UK or USA?

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