Camilita avatar
Camilita
36
7 months ago

I need help šŸ„ŗ

I am going though an extreme crisisā€¦ I have recently been diagnosed with mayor depression. The situation is really complicated since I am a single mother to a 7-year old girl who also has adhd and her father unexpectedly died one month ago. I am living in a foreign country (the dadā€™s home country) so I donā€™t have any relatives, family or close friends to show up physically for us. My daughter is supposed to be in summer school but broke her toe last week and canā€™t walk, so I havenā€™t gotten back en single minute to rest or recover from my illness. Right now I feel extremely desperate as I have had several anxiety attacks and canā€™t seem to get anything done or even less look after myself. I need your help! I desperately need a million of double buddies. I need all of you. All of you who want to help can help me tremendously just by writing on this post, by keeping me and forcing me to be accountable! I donā€™t know where else to ask for this help as I am struggling with feelings of guilt and shame alreadyā€¦ the Numo checklist is not as effective right now as getting points is not motivating me right nowā€¦ So I need you all to be my friends and family right now. I need you to help me, because my child is still little and she needs me to be ok and Iā€™m in the deepā€¦ so please help me make sure I look after myself! šŸ™šŸ˜Ŗ I havenā€™t showered for days. I forget to eat and Iā€™m loosing weight. I forget to drink water and I canā€™t seem to bother because Iā€™m stuck feeling miserable and invisible, but I also know it is making me more ill. I need to make important appointments for my daughters orphan pension. I need to brush my teethā€¦ I need to get advice of how to linger my anxiety in healthy ways. I need to wash my daughters clothesā€¦ The dishesā€¦. our house is in chaos and Iā€™m too overwhelmed. I need reminders to do small and achievable things to slowly get better. I know only you guys can understand how it feels to already have adhd with executive dysfunction, being completely alone raising a child with adhd who is grieving her fatherā€™s death, and then fall into deep depressionā€¦ so please help me ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹ be my light and help me stay on routine so that I can recover and be there for my girl šŸ™šŸ„ŗ

I need help šŸ„ŗ
rollarotten avatar
rollarotten
3w

Iā€™m keeping you in my prayers. I am so sorry šŸ˜¢ for your loss and struggles. I hope things have gotten better and you got some help. Hugs. ā¤ļø

jfresh84 avatar
jfresh84
2mo

@Camilita first off, I am so sorry for your loss. Maybe we can support each other. I have 4-year old son and my husband passed away when he was 2. Besides my ADHD, I have a book of other mental health issues. I also think my son may have ADHD but might be too young to be diagnosed šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø so I feel this message so much. I have been so depressed this last week and it doesnā€™t seem to be getting better. Iā€™ve had to say to my son, ā€œSorry Mommy is so sad.ā€ like a billion times. He always tells me itā€™s ok. Do what you can and screw the rest for now. No matter how bad our situations are and how we think we might not be mothering like we should, our kiddos donā€™t see things that way. Kids are smarter than we think when it comes to us being an emotional mess. I currently have so many tasks that need to get done and guess what, theyā€™re not done at all. Rest and get your sweet girl to rest with you. Maybe you could watch a movie together or read some books together. When you do get up, grab a water bottle and fill it up and grab a few snacks. That way when you do go lay down or sit and you canā€™t move, at least youā€™ll have a little something. Losing people that are important in your and your childā€™s life, can and will take a huge tole on you. Here it is 2 years later and I still feel like this. It wonā€™t always be that way, so donā€™t forget that. I do know about all the paperwork you have to take on after a loss. Iā€™m so thankful that I did have someone here to help. I really wish I could be there with you to help with the hard stuff. I know this is super long and now that Iā€™m overthinking it, I hope that itā€™s ok. I just wanted to help you any way I could. Here if you want to talk šŸ„²

Planbe avatar
Planbe
6mo

Hey @Camilita. I know your this post is from back to the beginning of Julyā€¦How are you doing? I can completely relate to experiencing major depression.šŸ˜£ Kudos to you for reaching out! Is there anything I/we can do for you now? Are you still wanting ā€œdouble buddiesā€?

clemonade avatar
clemonade
6mo

@Camilita, Iā€™m not sure where you live. If itā€™s in Europe is that any way you could ask for a sick leave at the doctors? Thatā€™s probably the first step to get a break and be able to rest before tackling some of the tasks ahead?

Luwae avatar
Luwae
7mo

You can do this! It's already a big step, to ask for help, you're doing great! I don't know in which country you are right now, but it's worth checking if there is any social workers office around, so that they can provide a good amount of help, do the paper for you, ask for someone to come and help you at your place for the task you don't have the energy for right now. Also, if there are any charity organisations around, as they can provide with the here and now help that you need and that none of us can provide you with

martin777 avatar
martin777
7mo

Hey Camilita, Iā€™m really sorry for what youā€™re going through. Losing your husband and having no room to grieve, because you have to be there for your daughter is hard. Iā€™m basically at a loss for words which very rarely happens to me, but I know you will make it - for your daughter, for you and for your late husband, who Iā€™m sure doesnā€™t want you to suffer like that. In our darkest hours itā€™s hard to see the light, but even if we canā€™t see it in the moment, it is always still there. You are strong and the fact that you share your story with all of us here, shows me that you are and that you will make it through these difficult times. I believe in you! You can do it and little by little step you will get better. Donā€™t beat yourself up for what you didnā€™t do, show yourself the love you show others and deserve yourself and give yourself grace. You are enough, you do your best and that is all anyone could ever expect. You are brave. You will get through this! šŸ€ā¤ļøšŸ€

taitoeveryday avatar
taitoeveryday
7mo

Youā€™ll get through this. Might not feel like it now. But you will!!

pingĆ¼Ć­n avatar
pingĆ¼Ć­n
7mo

Hello. I can t believe that anyone posted anything. Where do you currently live? I perfectly understand your paralysis...it s not time for task but grief ant though you have so many things to manage. Why don t you ask for help with your daughter from a friend or family? Or send her to a summer camp where she can play with other kids etc. That could be a way to take care of yourself and rest YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED IT. The most important part is taking care of you as you can do all the task you need. I ll be aroung just in case you need to talk. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AND ALL YOU RE GOING THROUGH., BELIEVE ME šŸ’• I ll be very pleased to help if I can. Hugs.

A. D. avatar
A. D.
7mo

Camilita, just writing in a new reply so that you get a Numo notification šŸ’¬ Iā€™ve editier the original post and added a normal link there beside the QR image. Good luck again šŸ€

A. D. avatar
A. D.
7mo

Haha, no problem šŸ˜€ Hereā€™s the link in text form: https://tinyurl.com/yck2sw3n (Numo did not support clicking on links šŸ”— in the past, so thatā€™s why I sent it in QR formā€¦)

Camilita avatar
Camilita
7mo

šŸ©µšŸ™ In my head I was supposed to answer some of you already days ago, but the overwhelm was too overwhelmingā€¦ Iā€™m trying really hard here, as I hate asking for help. I believe Iā€™ve struggled with RSD since childhood and so I have always been a bit reservedā€¦ and always felt like it would be wrong for me to take up spaceā€¦. So this is new to me. But I am touching rock bottom, so I am willing to try new ways and Iā€™m grateful for all of you. Thank you for cheering for me and giving me positive reactions for reaching out. Thank you for giving me sympathy and empathy. Thank you for lowering the bar for me. Thank you for the small things like sending me your thoughts. It all means so much to me šŸ„¹šŸ©µ

Camilita avatar
Camilita
7mo

My most sincere appreciation for all the support šŸ’›šŸ™ I am so tired and it is really hard to keep up with everythingā€¦ā€¦ But I am considering doing dishes nowā€¦ which is one of my biggest sensory icksā€¦ if you want to keep me accountable, you can like this comment or comment on it and I will get the signal that you are excepting me to come back with a result.

savannahcaraway avatar
savannahcaraway
7mo

Sending all the love šŸ«¶šŸ¼šŸ¤

Unknown avatar
Unknown
7mo

Dear Camalita Well, I'm with all the other answerers (is that even a word?)! So sorry for your loss! Depression sucks big time. I'm absolutely amazed that you found the courage and strength to reach out here šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘šŸ‘ As I have no clue to were you're located, all the help I can offer are thoughts, sympathy, best wishes and whatever I can send you via text šŸ¤— Also, I hope you have the support of doctors/therapist, too. All the Best to you and your daughter

LionQueen avatar
LionQueen
7mo

I just want you to know that you are 100% valid for feeling the way you do. Dealing with grief can be a long process but I promise with time I know you WILL overcome this obstacle. I can only imagine what you and your daughter must be going through is truly tragic. šŸ’” BUT kudos to you for reaching out for help!! taking the first step is the hardest and youā€™ve already done that!! Congratulations!!! I know it wonā€™t be easy, so my advice is donā€™t overwhelm yourself with thinking about all things that need to be done. try and take it one minute at a time. Dont want to wash dishes, just wash 1 bowl. Donā€™t want to brush your teeth, Just splash water on your face. Remember anything is better than nothing and is a step towards healing. Try taking very small steps to improve self care, that way you can take care of YOU, so you can be stronger for your daughter, which you are already in the process of doing. ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹ As a little girl who grew up with a mom who had depression, ocd, and extremely high functioning autism, I ended up being a latchkey child, raising myself, because with the depression she would sleep allllll the time, and then stay up all night obsessively cleaning the kitchen and zoning out watching her tv shows. I never understood why she was depressed, I wish she would have talked to me about that, instead of the adult issues like paying bills that kids shouldnā€™t have to worry about. Maybe I would have learned how to deal with my own emotions if she led by example. Now as a 34 yr old adult I also struggle with adhd and executive dysfunction and would definitely like to be apart of a group that we can all hold each other accountable and motivate each other! I want to help you and your daughter in anyway I can!! Please donā€™t hesitate to reach out, My name is Roxy and Iā€™m from Texas! 12107876081 text or WhatsApp

saraswatii avatar
saraswatii
7mo

And dont stress to answer all comments ā™„ļøšŸ˜‰ we see youšŸ¤—šŸ«¶šŸ½

saraswatii avatar
saraswatii
7mo

Dear camilitašŸ„ŗ I don't have the right words right now but I want you to know that I can relate to what you are going through and how hard it is to still try to fulfill your responsibilities in life every day ā™„ļø I know what it is like to feel the pain of a loved one and at the same time be drowned by your own pain šŸ˜£ and even when it doesn't really change your situation from distanceā€¦remember you are not alone with your feelings and you dont need to be strong by yourself šŸ’žšŸ«¶šŸ½ā€¦ā€¦ & even if you want to take away your daughters pain or try to make it easier you can't take away her pain as well as you can take away your pain..... but, and yes some people find it annoying, but I like the sayings: if you go through hell don't stop walking! We will get through this! Your daughter and you will get through this difficult journey, though it may feel like you are drowning right now! I believe in you and your strength to get through this camilitašŸ’ŖšŸ½ ->šŸ‘‘āœØā£ļø donā€™t give up, step by step, day by dayšŸ«¶šŸ½

Inge1974 avatar
Inge1974
7mo

Camilita, sorry for your lossā€¦ itā€™s hard šŸ„¹ and a small child ā€¦ And a foreign countryā€¦. Where in the world do you live and are you fromā€¦ Maybe someone lives nearby or speaks you language. This is a big community you never know. šŸ„° Iā€™ll wish you luck and happiness in this dark moments. Ps Iā€™ll understand such things brushing teeth is a mountain to climb and just starting the day is more than running a marathon for us šŸ¤—

capybara868 avatar
capybara868
7mo

I would like to help you in general but may be too inconsistent in practice. I am currently trying to get myself into the mindset of being more consistent with my online voluntary work and definitely need to finally take a shower before my friend's graduation on Friday. Perhaps we could work on building a few positive things to do to facilitate the basics. Please do contact me.

killerkeksii avatar
killerkeksii
7mo

Hi , I'm from Germany ...I am a total mess and trust me u r not alone ...don't feel bad ...I can't even remember to brush my teeth ...and the worst part is I also forget to remember my kids to do it ...I feel like the worst mum in the world and I don't Wanne talk to "normal" mums BCS I always feel embarrassed....I hope this is the right word. What I want to tell you is ....even if we are worlds apart ...you are not alone .. the world is full with ppl like us ...but we are not bad human .. we are just different ...and I Wanne Change it and I fight ..so do you ...we are fighter ...you got this ā¤ļøā€šŸ”„! I believe in you stay strong

topsyturvyteach avatar
topsyturvyteach
7mo

Praying for you and your daughter. Be gentle with yourself. You are both grieving. Acknowledge and name your grief for your sake and your daughterā€™s sake. Fix a favorite meal with her as your body double (in the room together) or order take out. As much as you donā€™t want to eat, your brain needs the protein to function. Please breathe, and drink a glass of water. My heart breaks for you both!

Julia from Numo avatar
Julia from Numo
7mo

My heart is with you! Please remember, no matter how clean your dishes - you are still a beautiful creative soul!

KatyMc avatar
KatyMc
7mo

My heart is with you and your daughter right now šŸ’– sending so much love from Australia šŸ’– I hope you two can turn to each other when your hurting and comfort each other šŸ’–šŸ’–

flattop avatar
flattop
7mo

Greetings from Germany, I d live to support you. I feel you. Is a very tough situation u r in right now.

Camilita avatar
Camilita
7mo

Thank you all for answering šŸ’›šŸ’›šŸ’› Today has been overwhelming, but I will answer each and everyone of you tomorrow šŸ™

cuddly avatar
cuddly
7mo

With you in spirit. Bravo for reaching out!

Cyb3rBan4na avatar
Cyb3rBan4na
7mo

Hi Camilita. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I have my children half time and struggle to Manage, I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have them full time! I would love to help in any way possible. Maybe Similar to what A.D suggested. If you need more body doubling apart from Numo and A.D. i would love to help and I would also benfit from it. Also I noticed that some of your to dos were in Swedish are you currently living in Sweden? I live in Stockholm. I can also meet up physically, in a public place, maybe a cafe.

A. D. avatar
A. D.
7mo

Hi Camilita, Thatā€™s a lot to handle šŸ˜” Given the emergency nature of the situation, the QR code below is a link to a Zoom room. Scan it and you should get a link. Open it and write in the chat there a daily time slot thatā€™s appropriate for you. I can have a short daily accountability meeting with you in that time slot for around a week or two ā€“ until youā€™re back in your feet again. This is all if you want that of course ā€“ but I guess it will help. Good luck šŸ˜•

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