Camilita avatar
Camilita
34
7 days ago

I need help 🥺

I am going though an extreme crisis… I have recently been diagnosed with mayor depression. The situation is really complicated since I am a single mother to a 7-year old girl who also has adhd and her father unexpectedly died one month ago. I am living in a foreign country (the dad’s home country) so I don’t have any relatives, family or close friends to show up physically for us. My daughter is supposed to be in summer school but broke her toe last week and can’t walk, so I haven’t gotten back en single minute to rest or recover from my illness. Right now I feel extremely desperate as I have had several anxiety attacks and can’t seem to get anything done or even less look after myself. I need your help! I desperately need a million of double buddies. I need all of you. All of you who want to help can help me tremendously just by writing on this post, by keeping me and forcing me to be accountable! I don’t know where else to ask for this help as I am struggling with feelings of guilt and shame already… the Numo checklist is not as effective right now as getting points is not motivating me right now… So I need you all to be my friends and family right now. I need you to help me, because my child is still little and she needs me to be ok and I’m in the deep… so please help me make sure I look after myself! 🙏😪 I haven’t showered for days. I forget to eat and I’m loosing weight. I forget to drink water and I can’t seem to bother because I’m stuck feeling miserable and invisible, but I also know it is making me more ill. I need to make important appointments for my daughters orphan pension. I need to brush my teeth… I need to get advice of how to linger my anxiety in healthy ways. I need to wash my daughters clothes… The dishes…. our house is in chaos and I’m too overwhelmed. I need reminders to do small and achievable things to slowly get better. I know only you guys can understand how it feels to already have adhd with executive dysfunction, being completely alone raising a child with adhd who is grieving her father’s death, and then fall into deep depression… so please help me ❤️‍🩹 be my light and help me stay on routine so that I can recover and be there for my girl 🙏🥺

I need help 🥺
A. D. avatar
A. D.
1d

Camilita, just writing in a new reply so that you get a Numo notification 💬 I’ve edited the original post and added a normal link there beside the QR image. Good luck again 🍀 Edit: if there’s any hassle, you can reply to this comment instead of the other one since Numo has issues with longer threads 🧵

A. D. avatar
A. D.
1d

Haha, no problem 😀 Here’s the link in text form: https://tinyurl.com/yck2sw3n (Numo did not support clicking on links 🔗 in the past, so that’s why I sent it in QR form…)

Camilita avatar
Camilita
1d

🩵🙏 In my head I was supposed to answer some of you already days ago, but the overwhelm was too overwhelming… I’m trying really hard here, as I hate asking for help. I believe I’ve struggled with RSD since childhood and so I have always been a bit reserved… and always felt like it would be wrong for me to take up space…. So this is new to me. But I am touching rock bottom, so I am willing to try new ways and I’m grateful for all of you. Thank you for cheering for me and giving me positive reactions for reaching out. Thank you for giving me sympathy and empathy. Thank you for lowering the bar for me. Thank you for the small things like sending me your thoughts. It all means so much to me 🥹🩵

Camilita avatar
Camilita
1d

My most sincere appreciation for all the support 💛🙏 I am so tired and it is really hard to keep up with everything…… But I am considering doing dishes now… which is one of my biggest sensory icks… if you want to keep me accountable, you can like this comment or comment on it and I will get the signal that you are excepting me to come back with a result.

LionQueen avatar
LionQueen
18h

Half is better than none! Congratulations! I also split into two sessions when there is a lot, mostly if I run out of hot water I’m pretty much done lol

LionQueen avatar
LionQueen
18h

I also cleaned the toilet today!! Dishes give me the ick too but I make the water as hot as I can stand and use a magic eraser sponge 🧽 and gloves 🧤 and then I focus on playing Tetris with the dishes determined to make them all fit in the drainer. I think the best way to start is to blast your favorite music and just organizing the dirty dishes without any pressure of washing them.

Camilita avatar
Camilita
1d

❗️….I’m only halfway through the dishes…. 🫣 ✅ But I have watered my only plant that so far has survived my blues🪴 ✅ And I have cleaned my cat’s litter box 🐾 and our ✅ toilet 🚽

savannahcaraway avatar
savannahcaraway
1d

Sending all the love 🫶🏼🤍

Sifrayel avatar
Sifrayel
1d

Dear Camalita Well, I'm with all the other answerers (is that even a word?)! So sorry for your loss! Depression sucks big time. I'm absolutely amazed that you found the courage and strength to reach out here 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 As I have no clue to were you're located, all the help I can offer are thoughts, sympathy, best wishes and whatever I can send you via text 🤗 Also, I hope you have the support of doctors/therapist, too. All the Best to you and your daughter

LionQueen avatar
LionQueen
18h

💯 no pressure to respond! I promise we all understand and don’t want you to stress to prioritize us over something else that you need the energy for. Sending love and positivity 💗

Sifrayel avatar
Sifrayel
1d

PS: Don't bother to answer to anybody. If someone understands how hard it can be, the people here do!

LionQueen avatar
LionQueen
1d

I just want you to know that you are 100% valid for feeling the way you do. Dealing with grief can be a long process but I promise with time I know you WILL overcome this obstacle. I can only imagine what you and your daughter must be going through is truly tragic. 💔 BUT kudos to you for reaching out for help!! taking the first step is the hardest and you’ve already done that!! Congratulations!!! I know it won’t be easy, so my advice is don’t overwhelm yourself with thinking about all things that need to be done. try and take it one minute at a time. Dont want to wash dishes, just wash 1 bowl. Don’t want to brush your teeth, Just splash water on your face. Remember anything is better than nothing and is a step towards healing. Try taking very small steps to improve self care, that way you can take care of YOU, so you can be stronger for your daughter, which you are already in the process of doing. ❤️‍🩹 As a little girl who grew up with a mom who had depression, ocd, and extremely high functioning autism, I ended up being a latchkey child, raising myself, because with the depression she would sleep allllll the time, and then stay up all night obsessively cleaning the kitchen and zoning out watching her tv shows. I never understood why she was depressed, I wish she would have talked to me about that, instead of the adult issues like paying bills that kids shouldn’t have to worry about. Maybe I would have learned how to deal with my own emotions if she led by example. Now as a 34 yr old adult I also struggle with adhd and executive dysfunction and would definitely like to be apart of a group that we can all hold each other accountable and motivate each other! I want to help you and your daughter in anyway I can!! Please don’t hesitate to reach out, My name is Roxy and I’m from Texas! 12107876081 text or WhatsApp

saraswatii avatar
saraswatii
2d

And dont stress to answer all comments ♥️😉 we see you🤗🫶🏽

saraswatii avatar
saraswatii
2d

Dear camilita🥺 I don't have the right words right now but I want you to know that I can relate to what you are going through and how hard it is to still try to fulfill your responsibilities in life every day ♥️ I know what it is like to feel the pain of a loved one and at the same time be drowned by your own pain 😣 and even when it doesn't really change your situation from distance…remember you are not alone with your feelings and you dont need to be strong by yourself 💞🫶🏽…… & even if you want to take away your daughters pain or try to make it easier you can't take away her pain as well as you can take away your pain..... but, and yes some people find it annoying, but I like the sayings: if you go through hell don't stop walking! We will get through this! Your daughter and you will get through this difficult journey, though it may feel like you are drowning right now! I believe in you and your strength to get through this camilita💪🏽 ->👑✨❣️ don’t give up, step by step, day by day🫶🏽

Inge1974 avatar
Inge1974
2d

Camilita, sorry for your loss… it’s hard 🥹 and a small child … And a foreign country…. Where in the world do you live and are you from… Maybe someone lives nearby or speaks you language. This is a big community you never know. 🥰 I’ll wish you luck and happiness in this dark moments. Ps I’ll understand such things brushing teeth is a mountain to climb and just starting the day is more than running a marathon for us 🤗

capybara868 avatar
capybara868
3d

I would like to help you in general but may be too inconsistent in practice. I am currently trying to get myself into the mindset of being more consistent with my online voluntary work and definitely need to finally take a shower before my friend's graduation on Friday. Perhaps we could work on building a few positive things to do to facilitate the basics. Please do contact me.

topsyturvyteach avatar
topsyturvyteach
4d

Praying for you and your daughter. Be gentle with yourself. You are both grieving. Acknowledge and name your grief for your sake and your daughter’s sake. Fix a favorite meal with her as your body double (in the room together) or order take out. As much as you don’t want to eat, your brain needs the protein to function. Protein helps depression meds work. Without the protein, the meds can’t take effect. (Dealt with major depression for years, and adhd-and still do.) Please breathe, and drink a glass of water. My heart breaks for you both!

Julia from Numo avatar
Julia from Numo
4d

My heart is with you! Please remember, no matter how clean your dishes - you are still a beautiful creative soul!

KatyMc avatar
KatyMc
4d

My heart is with you and your daughter right now 💖 sending so much love from Australia 💖 I hope you two can turn to each other when your hurting and comfort each other 💖💖

KatyMc avatar
KatyMc
4d

Forget about all the ‘shoulds’ and ‘have to’s’… all those assumptions were from a different life.. now you need to find what works TODAY.. for you and your daughter today 💖 how can you get through today together 🥰💖

flattop avatar
flattop
4d

Greetings from Germany, I d live to support you. I feel you. Is a very tough situation u r in right now.

Camilita avatar
Camilita
5d

Thank you all for answering 💛💛💛 Today has been overwhelming, but I will answer each and everyone of you tomorrow 🙏

cuddly avatar
cuddly
5d

With you in spirit. Bravo for reaching out!

Cyb3rBan4na avatar
Cyb3rBan4na
5d

Hi Camilita. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I have my children half time and struggle to Manage, I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have them full time! I would love to help in any way possible. Maybe Similar to what A.D suggested. If you need more body doubling apart from Numo and A.D. i would love to help and I would also benfit from it. Also I noticed that some of your to dos were in Swedish are you currently living in Sweden? I live in Stockholm. I can also meet up physically, in a public place, maybe a cafe.

A. D. avatar
A. D.
6d

Hi Camilita, That’s a lot to handle 😔 I can have a 30-minute morning Zoom accountability meeting with you for a week or two – until you’re back on your feet again. If you’re ok with that, the QR code below is a link to a Zoom room. Scan it, open the link, and please write in the chat there a daily morning time slot that is appropriate for you. We’re all on the same boat here, so I promise you that such daily meetings will help a lot 👍 Edit: I’m in Germany (CET time zone.) Edit: here’s the link as a WhatsApp group, which is easier: https://chat.whatsapp.com/Jo6SHoXGfzmC33jpPGTqsI Good luck 🍀

A. D. avatar
A. D.
1d

Haha, no problem 😀 Here’s the link in text form: https://tinyurl.com/yck2sw3n (Numo did not support clicking on links 🔗 in the past, so that’s why I sent it in QR form…)

Camilita avatar
Camilita
1d

Thank you cometofthenights 🙏✨ for encouraging me and letting me know I’m not alone and that things can get better ❤️‍🩹

Camilita avatar
Camilita
1d

💛 A. D. Adhd me plus my current state makes me a dinosaur…. I can’t figure out how to scan the QR code… I only have the phone I am currently using 📱🦖🌴

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