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ADHD

greentrees avatar
greentrees
14
1 day ago

Getting diagnosed rant

I’m 17 and currently feel like I’m fighting for my life to even get on the blimming waiting list for an assessment. I got referred by my college at the start of this year but I didn’t want my parents involved because we have a complicated relationship (to put it simply) and on all the forms I had to fill out it literally said ‘if the young person (16+) doesn’t want their parents involved that has to be respected’ more or less. I also hate feeling vulnerable and asking for help and all that so i never did my whole life and it was very difficult to do but I poured my heart out writing down in such detail the things i have gone through and experienced and do experience because of what i know for sure is adhd. The learning support officer from my college who was helping me with it told me I had answered everything really well and I did a good job. She submitted it along with evidence my teachers had given. The SEND people then simply replied saying that because my parents weren’t involved they wouldnt put me on the waiting list and I could either wait until I was old enough to go through the GP to get on the adult list or redo it but involve my parents. I was just wondering if anyone else, especially women, who weren’t diagnosed until their late teens or until adulthood can relate to this feeling. It just feels like they don’t give two f**ks about us and our wellbeing. I also just feel like they don’t believe me but i’ve never been more sure about anything in my life and it’s so frustrating. I spent my whole life feeling like there was something wrong with me because i knew i was different but i just couldn’t figure out what it was and no adults ever picked up on it because i was always that kid who was overlooked cus i got good grades and didn’t massively act out. And now when i finally know what it is i feel more hopeless than ever. I really don’t know what to do because I’m now old enough to go through my GP but I have a lot of anxiety about it, I only reached out to my college because I was at my breaking point but after everything i’ve experienced so far I feel like it’s just pointless and they’re not gonna believe me because I was never the stereotypical boy who got bad grades and acted out a lot. I also feel a lot of resentment towards my parents and the adults who took care of me throughout my childhood because I just feel like so much pain and trauma could’ve been avoided if they had noticed. I know I spent my whole life masking terrified they’d figure out something was wrong because i just felt so ashamed but I can’t help feeling betrayed that they didn’t notice because to me, especially looking back, it was so obvious and this just makes me feel like they didn’t care enough to notice. I don’t think I really realised this until I was looking back on my life for the referral forms and it just made so many old wound feel so fresh. I know this unfair to them but i can’t help it. Anyway i feel like i lost whatever point i was trying to make but i think i just needed to rant.

canipetthatdawg avatar
canipetthatdawg
12h

😌❤️

canipetthatdawg avatar
canipetthatdawg
12h

I've written a whole chapter yesterday but didn't finish so it naturally disappeared when I closed the app - would be fun if that didn't happen at least 3 times a day in different apps with different people or things to write down. what a blessing to be me! I'll start again. I myself am now 27 and in the process of getting tested for ADHD. I've got an Masters Degree in Social Sciences and dived really deep into gender and diversity studies, which include mental health topics and "disabilities". For what I know now I might have either Autism or ADHD or both, my psychiatrists goes for ADHD and the psychologist taking the test would guess it's rather autism and I won't get a positive test for ADHD. So I guess I'll simply get no diagnosis at all as my masking is still too good 🥹 But as I see there have always been obvious external and internal signs for both. I'm so sad hearing that your health system isn't as accessible as it should be! And even claims to be... Here in Austria, where I live, you can get any doctors appointment without your parents approval, knowledge or insight, as long as it's not a lifechanging, potentially lethal thing you're dealing with. For regular clinic psychologists you wait about 2 weeks up to 2 months, but you can get therapy/psychological counselling within "days" as they installed a Programme named "Gesund aus der Krise" (healthy out of crisis) especially for people under 18. But back to the topic, don't feel dismissed or invalid, your experience is real and draining and you will soon hopefully receive the help you need. You made it to 17, you might as well make it to 18 before getting the support you really need 😌 Be proud of what you achieved so far! If you feel hopeless, I'm sure you'll find reassurance here ❤️ Hugging u from afar 🫂

canipetthatdawg avatar
canipetthatdawg
1h

Stay strong honey ❤️

greentrees avatar
greentrees
9h

I wanted to say thank you first of all it just feels good to actually be heard and have my feelings feel validated. i live in the uk so our healthcare system is supposed to operate similarly to how you described yours but it’s simply been run into the ground by the governments and management we’ve had and therefore our wait lists for everything, especially mental health related things are sky high, and for neurodivergence assessments specifically they’re even up to 10 years in parts of the country, and even getting on those waitlists is so difficult in itself it does suck but i guess all i can do is wait at the moment like you said i’ve made it this far what’s a little longer!

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