Good on you 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼! You did the right thing, people like that will never get it.
I also went to a private school, all girls (I grew up in the private school epicentre of Melbourne) and I went through a similar experience with my best friend group from school, work and family. I had introduced them all (school, work & my best friend who I’d known my whole life cos 3 generations of our family had been friends) so they only knew each other because of me. After I got out of an abusive relationship I had a mental breakdown and became dependent on Xanax for the panic attacks I was having daily, so of course I was a bit out of it at times and I was also very depressed and spending a lot of time at home with my Mum where I felt safe. One of the girls confronted me on the way home after celebrating a birthday and said that I was being selfish and that I should be calling them, they all knew what I’d just been through but none of them were calling me (not even a text). They were very close with my mum and never reached out to her or popped over to check how I was doing, they just played the blame game. They all deserted me not long after that with no explanation, I’d only had that one “friend” say anything and that was that I was “selfish”.
My lifelong best friend was around a little longer but eventually stopped talking to me, she always said I was too sensitive and needed to stop overthinking so much, which we all know isn’t easy with ADHD, especially when it’s combined with trauma. I’ve had a fair amount of trauma throughout my life, losing my Dad in an accident when I was 6 caused a lot of abandonment issues and these girls knew that, so they thought it was a good idea to abandon me with no real explanation. Now they’re all friends, and I often wonder if they realise I bought them together, or worry about what they might say about me.
I had a reunion a few years ago and didn’t make up my mind until the night before as to whether I was going to go. With the support of a girl I’d been friends with in year 8, 9 & 10 (we always stayed in touch but just had “closer” friends in school) I decided to go with my head held high. I actually had a great time, and whenever any of those girls came up to me I gave them nothing, I was polite but just didn’t give them anything to talk about, I wanted them to see I had my life together and wasn’t out of it like I used to be. I didn’t drink, cos I didn’t want to give them anything to talk about, while they were drunk and sloppy and being fake by throwing their arms around me and kissing my face I just stood there, didn’t hug or kiss them back and didn’t ask how they were, it felt good to be the “together” one. Girls schools are notorious for breeding these fake girls and I can’t stand it. The whole situation gave me the confidence I needed to see how much I’d grown and that I was better off without them, yes I really wanted to tell them how much they’d hurt me and caused more abandonment issues for me but if I had I would’ve caused a scene and that would’ve been giving them what they wanted and something to talk about, and all I wanted was to show them I was different and make them feel a bit uncomfortable when they were being fake with their hugs and kisses and bs “how are you” ‘s.
But I’m definitely open to telling them if I ever run into them one on one.
