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bandarford
12
10 months ago

Breakup because of ADHD

Has anyone experienced a relationship ending because of your adhd symptoms? I’m undiagnosed but have started to learn that I have lived with this my whole life. My girlfriend recently ended things after five years of being together. She was usually extremely understanding and supportive but struggled with anxiety and so my chronic lateness and procrastination made her feel like I didn’t put in effort or care about her. The thing is I was putting in so much effort to mask these issues, it was exhausting. I’m now left wondering if any future relationships are destined to fail because of how I am, if it can happen after 5 years with someone who I thought truly accepted how I am. Sorry if this triggers anyone currently in a relationship. Idk what I’m asking for with this, just hard to cope right now :(

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rcmapp
10mo

I don’t like to judge the Neurotypical; they can’t help their brain structure. But I enjoy other ADHD people so much more than I enjoy neurotypical company, in most cases. In middle age, I am learning to enjoy my brain structure and to see other peoples’ ADHD as a positive.

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rcmapp
10mo

I do understand this so much I find that my ADHD affects my relationships with friends, family, and potential partners

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sourlemonade
10mo

I would recommend checking out ADHDLove. I watch their YouTube shorts but I’m pretty sure they also have TikTok and Instagram. https://youtube.com/@ADHD_love

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sourlemonade
10mo

Hey, I haven’t experienced this in my romantic relationships but I have experienced this in many friendships. Many losses because people don’t understand my ADHD symptoms and don’t like the way they manifest. I’ve come to understand that it’s okay, and that if people aren’t willing to understand, they don’t deserve a place in my life. My current romantic partner and I both have ADHD. We are both late, sometimes bad at communicating, listening, all of the issues that normally come with our ADHD. We are accepting of each other and loving. We do have issues sometimes feeling like the other one doesn’t care, at the end of the day we communicate those feelings to each other. If one of us is hurt we say so, we do our best to reassure each other. We communicate. That’s what has worked best for us. And that’s what has kept us together for a year and a half now. My point is that you aren’t doomed because of your ADHD. There are people out there that will understand and love you. You aren’t broken, you aren’t unlovable. You are worthy and valuable.

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