staceyfoo avatar
staceyfoo
4
9 months ago

Messiness

Does anyone else have a really hard time keeping your house/car clean and don't really know why it's so hard for you? It's like I don't know how to clean or something. It's crazy. It's depressing.

vlad@numo.so avatar
vlad@numo.so
5mo

vlad@numo.so

vlad@numo.so avatar
vlad@numo.so
5mo

vlad@numo.so

vlad@numo.so avatar
vlad@numo.so
5mo

vlad@numo.so

sleepysquirrel avatar
sleepysquirrel
8mo

Yes

vlad@numo.so avatar
vlad@numo.so
5mo

vlad@numo.so

catnapsallday avatar
catnapsallday
8mo

Yes! And the decision making behind where to keep item ___ or whether to throw it out or not, is overwhelming. I think it’s a combo of executive function struggles + how boring tasks are D: (under-stimulated)

chelstar avatar
chelstar
8mo

Every single day

kel.des89 avatar
kel.des89
8mo

Every single day my friend. Try not to be too hard on yourself :) I am an obsessive cleaner and yet I find myself cleaning up the same messes everyday, never seeing lasting results .

Inspiredfae avatar
Inspiredfae
8mo

Absolutely! All the time.

itmeadhd avatar
itmeadhd
8mo

Yes absolutely. My entire life all of my spaces have been chaos.

ChiCoManBeAdhD avatar
ChiCoManBeAdhD
8mo

Honestly I clean my house constantly because of the kids. I'm never done it's other things that mess wit my adhd

msstarshine avatar
msstarshine
8mo

Yes! Why is this so hard?

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hshshsh

adhdmuggel avatar
adhdmuggel
8mo

This is our the most popular topic of argument in our relationship. Two kids work and proud of all the small tasks I don't forget and then comes.. Should have been done like that to be proper...

frogladyrhonda avatar
frogladyrhonda
8mo

Soo bad. I should been evicted or when kids younger them pulled. I just got on me f s and cleaned the floor to living room and misidentified of bedroom...well a walkway

Vova from Numo avatar
Vova from Numo
8mo

Yo

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hello

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Djddk

Crazydogmum  avatar
Crazydogmum
8mo

Absolutely! Its so easy to do small tasks, but its always 'i will do that later'.

Vova from Numo avatar
Vova from Numo
8mo

Hey

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hey

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hi

chairladym avatar
chairladym
8mo

This is wierd but it helps me - i turn on hoarders and within about 1/2 hour I’m cleaning haha - i leave it on til I’m done - i also don’t try to do everything in one day like i used to because i would always fail!

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hi

chairladym avatar
chairladym
8mo

Yes - i get overwhelmed and then freeze and don’t do anything

teslavolt2023 avatar
teslavolt2023
8mo

Yes

adhdmama20 avatar
adhdmama20
8mo

Yes I can clean and clean it seems but I can’t get anywhere

loopylou avatar
loopylou
8mo

It seems like everywhere I go a mess happens. Yes, I totally sympathize. I haven’t really found a solution other than to be cognizant of the messes that I can create in a short span of time and go behind myself at the end of the day and clean up what I left out. I am working on organizing my truck with milk crates and may consider getting one or two of those things that hang on the headrest and hang over the back of the seat. As for my house? I am very slowly working on finding practical ways to use what limited space that we have to unclutter and simplify our living space. I am a cleaning lady and work for myself. Ok? Yet when it comes to my own home, I totally one hundred percent feel the same way as you do about cleaning. You are not alone. Good luck.

LauraCreative avatar
LauraCreative
8mo

Yup! Before diagnosis, I was incessantly asking myself (and then blaming myself, of course…): *why* on earth am I really good at a few things I like that are quite complex and creative, while I’m sooooo shit at the most basic things that we all need to just survive / for proper work/life hygiene?! I still find chores annoying, but now I feel less guilt for doing things in the way that works for me, rather than how most people do it - even if that looks and feels silly AF. Example: I have an ordered to do list on my bathroom mirror: 1) brush teeth; 2) mouth wash; 3) wash face; 4) apply face serum. As simple as it sounds, it helps me stay on task - and not walk around the house, toothbrush in mouth, ‘because I remembered I needed to do something else too’ Also, it’s normal that these tricks will lose their novelty. If it works for a while but then you barely even notice it, don’t be ashamed to swap it for another kind of reminder. Like a timer, a drawings-only to do list, audio instructions… Nothing is too silly if it works!

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Yo

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

H

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hello

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hello

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Yo

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hii

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Yo vulva

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hello

Vova from Numo avatar
Vova from Numo
8mo

Hey

Vova from Numo avatar
Vova from Numo
8mo

Hi

Vova from Numo avatar
Vova from Numo
8mo

How are you?

Vova from Numo avatar
Vova from Numo
8mo

Yo

francisbacon avatar
francisbacon
8mo

I actually can‘t relate, because I struggle with OCD and compulsive cleaning. But I get where you come from and maybe I can give you some tips here: 1. Don‘t look at the mess with emptions and judgment - see it as it really is - a pile of clothes, a dirty pan, etc Try to disconnect the feeling of shame and get more into observing! 2. Filter the first step of cleaning smth - for example: the dirty pan - 1. step: take the dirty pan and put some water in it. That‘s the first step to cleaning the pan and suddenly it doesn‘t sound so frightening :) In general: try to organize the mess into tiny little pieces and don‘t be hard on yourself when you can‘t finish everything in 1 day! These things take time and it‘s ok if it‘s messy! You are not worse because of it :) You‘re doing great! <3 Hope this could help :)

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hello

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hi

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hi vova

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hello

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hi vulva

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hi vulva

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hello vova

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hi vulva

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Test for vova

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hello

happygolucky avatar
happygolucky
8mo

My problem is I'll clean it and then I can't keep it that way until it seems overwhelming but I can't make myself do anything about it until it feels like it is literally crushing me.

breazy3s avatar
breazy3s
8mo

This is something I’m struggling with as well. I clean and clean and clean and yes I have 2 kids that doesn’t help. But I see these tendencies in them and just recently had this epiphany that if I don’t change all their habits in a few weeks then they will forever struggle to survive like myself ! So now I’m stressed and cleaning to not get clean with the wait of ruining my kids entire lives if I don’t perfect it on my shoulders!

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hello

francisbacon avatar
francisbacon
8mo

That sounds pretty harsh… but hey maybe look at it this way: Cleaning is lots of routine and revision. So don‘t beat yourself up! It‘s natural that this stuff takes a while! If you repeat cleaning once a month, it‘s progress! Take the pressure away - even talking about wanting to change is a huge step! Be patient with yourself

littlebluebird avatar
littlebluebird
8mo

I used to call it my organized disorganized mess. Now it is just a huge disorganized mess

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hii

traction avatar
traction
8mo

Happy women is always messy ;). My wife has a mass at home, but we together regularly clean it

 avatar
8mo

Yes, and being a Virgp, I am driving myself crazy.

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hi

dozydrawers avatar
dozydrawers
8mo

Absolutely I get motivated to clean go to the shop to buy cleaning products and then dont know where to start so dont. I have the messiest house with the biggest collection of cleaning products

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Heyy

 avatar
8mo

I am the same it's so bloody hard I always day tomorrow 😩

 avatar
8mo

Same feeling here! Just disorganized though I have come to realize.

Shivvi avatar
Shivvi
8mo

I just think oh I’ll do it later and I never do and then next thing it’s a bloody mess and I panic!

madcat avatar
madcat
8mo

I’m such an OCD clean freak but for the past few months I just can’t. My poor house and car have taken the hit because of it. I hate it, it’s embarrassing. Sometimes the anxiety takes over. But normally I’m too tired and run down to care. Last week I physically could not bring myself to put away the groceries.

gypseeey avatar
gypseeey
8mo

Omfg! I’m guilty of the dreaded “bags” issue. Fill up a reusable bag with crap. Put it somewhere…. Never unpack it. Fill another reusable bag with random crap… put it down somewhere…. And so on. But then being able to find that blue hair bow that my 5 year old needed for school pictures in the dark at 6am in the bottom of one of said bags. Lol. It’s mental!!! I hate the bags!!! (But can’t stop) lol. Anyone else plagued by this??

CoffeeOwnsMe avatar
CoffeeOwnsMe
8mo

I use small, plastic bins with lids for this. I feel more accomplished when I sort things and stack them neatly. Do they ever actually get put away? Nope. Guests just never realize how disorganized I am. lol

pjlutz avatar
pjlutz
8mo

Yes! Makes me feel so incompetent.

Wysdym avatar
Wysdym
8mo

This!! The bag system.

kitkat93 avatar
kitkat93
8mo

I struggle with the housekeeping. What helps me is just to break it down into smaller chunks. So, I might clean the toilet one day when I feel the energy. Might vacuum carpets on a different day. Dust when the mood strikes. I just don’t make myself housekeep on any routine or schedule.

@esther avatar
@esther
8mo

This is me! I try to be patient with myself, but I'm so overwhelmed by the mess that I can't clean it

badhdbih avatar
badhdbih
8mo

Both and I open my front door just enough that me and the kids can squeeze in and out because it’s too embarrassing for me to let my neighbors see. My car, well I don’t have tinted windows so that is on display for all to see.

kitkat93 avatar
kitkat93
8mo

I use that fear of judgment to motivate myself to clean the car. 😅

Noahsmom021714 avatar
Noahsmom021714
8mo

I feel like this is my BIGGEST struggle!! Luckily I have a pretty great boyfriend and a trusted friend who know how much of a struggle it is. They’re usually down at least once a week to come and help me clean or just be present while I clean. It helps keep me on task. Body doubling!! It’s been the biggest help for me when getting chores done.

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hello

femmebiotch avatar
femmebiotch
9mo

My car is a disaster area as a general rule. Having a kid who drops things everywhere does not help!

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hi

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Yo

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Hii

sjohn avatar
sjohn
9mo

Girllll my house is good but my car is …. My own personal hell lol

anayro avatar
anayro
9mo

Oh yes, it’s awful, at work everyone believes i’m such an organized person. And when I arrive home it’s a mess, and I want to clean, i love my clean apartment, but i just can’t seem to be able to find energy to do so

Garfiled41 avatar
Garfiled41
9mo

I’m very good at cleaning up and organising my things but I love my floordrobe . As for my work van it’s a constant embrasment as soon as get organised it’s a mess with in days ! I do accept my limits and so the cycle continues and I’m on here instead of doing what I was supposed too and put my stuff away in the living room so the kids can watch tv in the morning …

friscokid avatar
friscokid
9mo

I actually like cleaning and I still don’t . Cleanliness of our home is really the only thing in life that I can control. I hate feeling out of control, And yet the older I get the harder it is to even complete the basic chores. It’s like I’m scared of the washing machine or something. Lol. Frustrating

sirhenry avatar
sirhenry
9mo

Its because you only have motivation for short bursts and in between every little putting away is tedious and it accumulates fast.

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hello

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hii

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Yo

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Nice

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Nice

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hey

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

True

kistan  avatar
kistan
9mo

If you could see my car right now you would agree that I'm on the same page as you.

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hi

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hello

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hi

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hello

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hello

smevil333 avatar
smevil333
9mo

Yes! And it drives me crazy because I crave organization & structure but can never seem to attain it!

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
8mo

Heeyy

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hello

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hi

proatmediocrity avatar
proatmediocrity
9mo

Yes! I just moved into a new house, and my old apartment had one bathroom, and this house has 4, and trying to find a routine to clean them all has been really tricky! I’m finding a couple things that work though! I got bulk packs of cleaning supplies, and put separate cleaning supplies in each bathroom. As far as clutter, that’s a little trickier, but having specified areas for the clutter to live is helpful. I just leave a laundry hamper out in each room at all times to collect the stuff that accumulates in those rooms. It also makes it way easier to hide clutter before people come over, cause all I have to do is put the hamper in one room and close the door. For the car, I’ve started leaving grocery bags in the car instead of putting them under my sink, and then I use them to throw away trash whenever I feel able to. Finding ways around executive dysfunction is hard, but you’ve got this!

femmebiotch avatar
femmebiotch
9mo

Ooooh I really like that Laundry hamper idea! Thanks for that!

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Helloo

hairblowsnwind  avatar
hairblowsnwind
9mo

Yes and I don't really understand why it's difficult to do when I do start cleaning I start to feel very overwhelmed and it feels like I have so much to do. And then I start to feel disappointed in myself

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hii

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Yo

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Yo

fenfox  avatar
fenfox
9mo

I found it helpful to ensure that everything has its own place and to group items together, for example all of my art stuff goes in my desk drawers and so any extension of art stuff also goes there, like my label maker or tape because in my mind they are related. Ensuring everything has a dedicated spot helped me stop having a constant pile of random clutter in every room

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
9mo

Hey

ADHDNIGHTMARE avatar
ADHDNIGHTMARE
9mo

My car is a trash can/hoarders dream on wheels and my house is always a mess. I want it to be clean....I want to clean it....I just can't do it. I freeze and then just sleep to avoid it. It's a mix between my depression and the ADHD. My brain will think of all the things that need done....while I'm laying in bed not moving. I hate it

msstarshine avatar
msstarshine
8mo

Omg yes! We are one!

jota  avatar
jota
9mo

It’s called the “piling” method. As in making a pile of junk. It’s a common organizational “technique/” ((symptom)) used by people with ADHD. It makes sense at the time, but just ends up being clutter in the long run. Place something done, I’ll remember this later, Braun immediately jumps to something else, and we forget about it for weeks.

friscokid avatar
friscokid
9mo

Staring at a couple piles right now. 😂

gimmegrace avatar
gimmegrace
9mo

I love having my space clean and organized but I just can’t get there. Is it my depression? It is my ADHD? Is it my chronic fatigue? Is it just me being lazy? I hate how it makes me feel 😭

friscokid avatar
friscokid
9mo

Not knowing the true source of the issue frustrates me too. Am I a loser, or did I forget to take my meds

Aquaholic21 avatar
Aquaholic21
9mo

House, kinda. Car, absolutely! I throw things on the seat, like “I’ll remember that tomorrow,” and suddenly I have a mountain of things.

j9hobie avatar
j9hobie
9mo

Yes!!! I dread starting and then once I do, I find all of these things I haven’t seen in forever and I get sidetracked.

chez avatar
chez
9mo

So much!!! It feels like “what’s the point” cause I’ll have to do it again tomorrow

beelzebub avatar
beelzebub
9mo

Constantly!

krosbo avatar
krosbo
9mo

I craaave organization. Like, really crave it. But I can’t get there. Everything is a disaster. I start an organization project and focus so hard on the details that everything else falls apart around me & my kids need me & work & then I can’t finish what I’ve started.

1baseballmomof3 avatar
1baseballmomof3
9mo

Yes! I just started using the Tody app for house cleaning. I have simple daily tasks than keep me sane and I can check them off to see progress.

unhingedmom avatar
unhingedmom
9mo

Yes :( so overwhelming and embarrassing

ceefoxx avatar
ceefoxx
9mo

Yes that much I now have a cleaner for 2 hours one day a week and it still looks like a bomb dropped

Julien avatar
Julien
9mo

Yeah, and it became less of an issue since I kinda settled on a „looks okay“ state and have a cleaning aid every other week for all the things I never find any motivation until it‘s embarrasing like wiping the floor and vacuuming the corners etc

monkeyotters avatar
monkeyotters
9mo

That’s me, but if it’s organized, I’ll never find what I need. I live with a dependent that has Down’s syndrome, who is a compulsive organizer, and she can’t remember where she put things or it too scared to admit she touched someone’s stuff. I don’t know if Downs Syndrome and compulsive organization is connected. It’s a humorous disaster haha.

urizen avatar
urizen
9mo

It happens to me that I clean and organize a room, move on to the next one, and if I come back… I feel it’s unfinished and I start over… so many times… tip: essential minimalism… fewer things, fewer possibilities, fewer decisions…

Firebird avatar
Firebird
9mo

Its so hard!!!

Carien avatar
Carien
9mo

Too bad that someone once decided that it are mainly women who should do the household and tidying. I totally suck at it 😂

Carien avatar
Carien
9mo

Yes… it is eating my entire time away.. i am mom with adhd with 3 kids with adhd and a husband who does not admit that the kids probably have their adhd from both of us 😂

 avatar
9mo

I’m hiring a professional organizer who works with ADHD clients. Hope it helps. I can’t stand how cluttered and messy my apartment is.

GaraAdhd avatar
GaraAdhd
9mo

Yes most definitely!!!!

cathstar007 avatar
cathstar007
9mo

Oh my goodness. This really is my BIGGEST hurdle that I feel so much guilt over! It’s awful. I’m ashamed and feel terrible for my husband and kids who live with my disorganisation every day! Waaaa. I’m here to learn though! HOPEFULLY I can find something that works for me coz I really hate this!!

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