Messiness

By FAR my biggest battle

vlad@numo.so

vlad@numo.so

vlad@numo.so

Yes

Yes! And the decision making behind where to keep item ___ or whether to throw it out or not, is overwhelming. I think it’s a combo of executive function struggles + how boring tasks are D: (under-stimulated)

Every single day

Every single day my friend. Try not to be too hard on yourself :) I am an obsessive cleaner and yet I find myself cleaning up the same messes everyday, never seeing lasting results .

Absolutely! All the time.

Yes absolutely. My entire life all of my spaces have been chaos.

Honestly I clean my house constantly because of the kids. I'm never done it's other things that mess wit my adhd

Yes! Why is this so hard?

Hshshsh

This is our the most popular topic of argument in our relationship. Two kids work and proud of all the small tasks I don't forget and then comes.. Should have been done like that to be proper...

Soo bad. I should been evicted or when kids younger them pulled. I just got on me f s and cleaned the floor to living room and misidentified of bedroom...well a walkway

Yo

Hello

Djddk

Absolutely! Its so easy to do small tasks, but its always 'i will do that later'.

This is wierd but it helps me - i turn on hoarders and within about 1/2 hour I’m cleaning haha - i leave it on til I’m done - i also don’t try to do everything in one day like i used to because i would always fail!

Yes - i get overwhelmed and then freeze and don’t do anything

Yes

Yes I can clean and clean it seems but I can’t get anywhere

It seems like everywhere I go a mess happens. Yes, I totally sympathize. I haven’t really found a solution other than to be cognizant of the messes that I can create in a short span of time and go behind myself at the end of the day and clean up what I left out. I am working on organizing my truck with milk crates and may consider getting one or two of those things that hang on the headrest and hang over the back of the seat. As for my house? I am very slowly working on finding practical ways to use what limited space that we have to unclutter and simplify our living space. I am a cleaning lady and work for myself. Ok? Yet when it comes to my own home, I totally one hundred percent feel the same way as you do about cleaning. You are not alone. Good luck.

Yup! Before diagnosis, I was incessantly asking myself (and then blaming myself, of course…): *why* on earth am I really good at a few things I like that are quite complex and creative, while I’m sooooo shit at the most basic things that we all need to just survive / for proper work/life hygiene?! I still find chores annoying, but now I feel less guilt for doing things in the way that works for me, rather than how most people do it - even if that looks and feels silly AF. Example: I have an ordered to do list on my bathroom mirror: 1) brush teeth; 2) mouth wash; 3) wash face; 4) apply face serum. As simple as it sounds, it helps me stay on task - and not walk around the house, toothbrush in mouth, ‘because I remembered I needed to do something else too’ Also, it’s normal that these tricks will lose their novelty. If it works for a while but then you barely even notice it, don’t be ashamed to swap it for another kind of reminder. Like a timer, a drawings-only to do list, audio instructions… Nothing is too silly if it works!

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Yo vulva

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How are you?

Yo

I actually can‘t relate, because I struggle with OCD and compulsive cleaning. But I get where you come from and maybe I can give you some tips here: 1. Don‘t look at the mess with emptions and judgment - see it as it really is - a pile of clothes, a dirty pan, etc Try to disconnect the feeling of shame and get more into observing! 2. Filter the first step of cleaning smth - for example: the dirty pan - 1. step: take the dirty pan and put some water in it. That‘s the first step to cleaning the pan and suddenly it doesn‘t sound so frightening :) In general: try to organize the mess into tiny little pieces and don‘t be hard on yourself when you can‘t finish everything in 1 day! These things take time and it‘s ok if it‘s messy! You are not worse because of it :) You‘re doing great! <3 Hope this could help :)

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My problem is I'll clean it and then I can't keep it that way until it seems overwhelming but I can't make myself do anything about it until it feels like it is literally crushing me.

I used to call it my organized disorganized mess. Now it is just a huge disorganized mess

Happy women is always messy ;). My wife has a mass at home, but we together regularly clean it

Yes, and being a Virgp, I am driving myself crazy.

Absolutely I get motivated to clean go to the shop to buy cleaning products and then dont know where to start so dont. I have the messiest house with the biggest collection of cleaning products

I am the same it's so bloody hard I always day tomorrow 😩

Same feeling here! Just disorganized though I have come to realize.

I just think oh I’ll do it later and I never do and then next thing it’s a bloody mess and I panic!

I’m such an OCD clean freak but for the past few months I just can’t. My poor house and car have taken the hit because of it. I hate it, it’s embarrassing. Sometimes the anxiety takes over. But normally I’m too tired and run down to care. Last week I physically could not bring myself to put away the groceries.

Omfg! I’m guilty of the dreaded “bags” issue. Fill up a reusable bag with crap. Put it somewhere…. Never unpack it. Fill another reusable bag with random crap… put it down somewhere…. And so on. But then being able to find that blue hair bow that my 5 year old needed for school pictures in the dark at 6am in the bottom of one of said bags. Lol. It’s mental!!! I hate the bags!!! (But can’t stop) lol. Anyone else plagued by this??

I struggle with the housekeeping. What helps me is just to break it down into smaller chunks. So, I might clean the toilet one day when I feel the energy. Might vacuum carpets on a different day. Dust when the mood strikes. I just don’t make myself housekeep on any routine or schedule.

This is me! I try to be patient with myself, but I'm so overwhelmed by the mess that I can't clean it

Both and I open my front door just enough that me and the kids can squeeze in and out because it’s too embarrassing for me to let my neighbors see. My car, well I don’t have tinted windows so that is on display for all to see.

I feel like this is my BIGGEST struggle!! Luckily I have a pretty great boyfriend and a trusted friend who know how much of a struggle it is. They’re usually down at least once a week to come and help me clean or just be present while I clean. It helps keep me on task. Body doubling!! It’s been the biggest help for me when getting chores done.

My car is a disaster area as a general rule. Having a kid who drops things everywhere does not help!

Girllll my house is good but my car is …. My own personal hell lol

Oh yes, it’s awful, at work everyone believes i’m such an organized person. And when I arrive home it’s a mess, and I want to clean, i love my clean apartment, but i just can’t seem to be able to find energy to do so

I’m very good at cleaning up and organising my things but I love my floordrobe . As for my work van it’s a constant embrasment as soon as get organised it’s a mess with in days ! I do accept my limits and so the cycle continues and I’m on here instead of doing what I was supposed too and put my stuff away in the living room so the kids can watch tv in the morning …

I actually like cleaning and I still don’t . Cleanliness of our home is really the only thing in life that I can control. I hate feeling out of control, And yet the older I get the harder it is to even complete the basic chores. It’s like I’m scared of the washing machine or something. Lol. Frustrating

Its because you only have motivation for short bursts and in between every little putting away is tedious and it accumulates fast.

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True

If you could see my car right now you would agree that I'm on the same page as you.

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Hello

Yes! And it drives me crazy because I crave organization & structure but can never seem to attain it!

Yes! I just moved into a new house, and my old apartment had one bathroom, and this house has 4, and trying to find a routine to clean them all has been really tricky! I’m finding a couple things that work though! I got bulk packs of cleaning supplies, and put separate cleaning supplies in each bathroom. As far as clutter, that’s a little trickier, but having specified areas for the clutter to live is helpful. I just leave a laundry hamper out in each room at all times to collect the stuff that accumulates in those rooms. It also makes it way easier to hide clutter before people come over, cause all I have to do is put the hamper in one room and close the door. For the car, I’ve started leaving grocery bags in the car instead of putting them under my sink, and then I use them to throw away trash whenever I feel able to. Finding ways around executive dysfunction is hard, but you’ve got this!

Yes and I don't really understand why it's difficult to do when I do start cleaning I start to feel very overwhelmed and it feels like I have so much to do. And then I start to feel disappointed in myself

I found it helpful to ensure that everything has its own place and to group items together, for example all of my art stuff goes in my desk drawers and so any extension of art stuff also goes there, like my label maker or tape because in my mind they are related. Ensuring everything has a dedicated spot helped me stop having a constant pile of random clutter in every room

My car is a trash can/hoarders dream on wheels and my house is always a mess. I want it to be clean....I want to clean it....I just can't do it. I freeze and then just sleep to avoid it. It's a mix between my depression and the ADHD. My brain will think of all the things that need done....while I'm laying in bed not moving. I hate it

It’s called the “piling” method. As in making a pile of junk. It’s a common organizational “technique/” ((symptom)) used by people with ADHD. It makes sense at the time, but just ends up being clutter in the long run. Place something done, I’ll remember this later, Braun immediately jumps to something else, and we forget about it for weeks.

I love having my space clean and organized but I just can’t get there. Is it my depression? It is my ADHD? Is it my chronic fatigue? Is it just me being lazy? I hate how it makes me feel 😭

House, kinda. Car, absolutely! I throw things on the seat, like “I’ll remember that tomorrow,” and suddenly I have a mountain of things.

Yes!!! I dread starting and then once I do, I find all of these things I haven’t seen in forever and I get sidetracked.

So much!!! It feels like “what’s the point” cause I’ll have to do it again tomorrow

Constantly!

I craaave organization. Like, really crave it. But I can’t get there. Everything is a disaster. I start an organization project and focus so hard on the details that everything else falls apart around me & my kids need me & work & then I can’t finish what I’ve started.

Yes! I just started using the Tody app for house cleaning. I have simple daily tasks than keep me sane and I can check them off to see progress.

Yes :( so overwhelming and embarrassing

Yes that much I now have a cleaner for 2 hours one day a week and it still looks like a bomb dropped

Yeah, and it became less of an issue since I kinda settled on a „looks okay“ state and have a cleaning aid every other week for all the things I never find any motivation until it‘s embarrasing like wiping the floor and vacuuming the corners etc

That’s me, but if it’s organized, I’ll never find what I need. I live with a dependent that has Down’s syndrome, who is a compulsive organizer, and she can’t remember where she put things or it too scared to admit she touched someone’s stuff. I don’t know if Downs Syndrome and compulsive organization is connected. It’s a humorous disaster haha.

It happens to me that I clean and organize a room, move on to the next one, and if I come back… I feel it’s unfinished and I start over… so many times… tip: essential minimalism… fewer things, fewer possibilities, fewer decisions…

Its so hard!!!

Too bad that someone once decided that it are mainly women who should do the household and tidying. I totally suck at it 😂

Yes… it is eating my entire time away.. i am mom with adhd with 3 kids with adhd and a husband who does not admit that the kids probably have their adhd from both of us 😂

I’m hiring a professional organizer who works with ADHD clients. Hope it helps. I can’t stand how cluttered and messy my apartment is.

Yes most definitely!!!!