What bothers you the most about having ADHD?

This one could be funny but… my therapist sent me a paper about this medicine that could help with my ADHD, but it’s been months and I still didn’t read it in order to decide if I should take it.

The paralysis, recently especially around already big life changes (moving, selling my car, losing my job). It makes emotional regulation a Herculean effort and then I start forgetting important things like taking my meds, brushing my teeth, paying bills. It impacts every small and big thing in my life. It can be very exhausting!

Realizing how many relationships have been ruined due to mine and my partner's ignorance on why I am the way I am

I think for me it’s how many misconceptions people have about it. They expect me to be very loud, extroverted and disruptive of others. Those are stereotypes based typically on “male ADHD”, making it much harder to detect in women and girls. Of course, these stereotypes are not necessarily true for all men with ADHD either…

I’ve been diagnosed quite late in live. So to me now things become more clear on why i struggle with things that to other people seem so simple. My problems seem to be ridiculous. So the stigma is there because its hard to explain. When you describe the symptoms most people say something like ‘yeah i sometimes have this to, but it still manage… blablabla’. The guilt tripping is hard to overcome

Being in a room of people and realizing I am the only one fidgeting around, moving, making noise, shuffling paper, going thru my bag, interrupting others, not being able to pay attention or focus.

Avoiding important plans and letting opportunities pass me by because I’m too overwhelmed

Knowing I need to clean up the house but letting it get so bad it’s overwhelming and literally puts me in a panic mode for weeks, then some random day I’ll get a hair up my ass deep clean the kitchen and just stop there. Why? Why can’t I be a good wife and mother and clean my home? I want to and know I need to but the getting and doing blows! 😭

Create great, doable plans but never being able to finish them or get distracted and forget my plan ever existed

I feel it steals the things you love, like activities and hobby etc. I feel like there are things that I want to do, but if ADHD has decided we're bored of them then I can't anymore. Well, until it comes back around as a hyperfixation, which can be weeks, months, years or never again 😭

Knowing what I have but then having to figure out how to get myself to optimal levels while figuring it out for my daughter too.

Knowing I can do much more than what I actually do

Having ideas left and right but never able to do anything with them. I get discouraged. I start some and never complete them.

I can never finish my work

I get on my husbands nerves when I try to let loose

People not understanding my behaviour even when it's clearly explained to them

Lack of executive function

The inability to stick to something once I've started.... I see something else and my brain screams "squirrel" like an untrained dog and I go zooming off to the next thing. By the end of the day I'm exhausted with a bigger mess than before. Can anyone relate?

That no one cares about that it's hard to you to do things in time. If you can't do tasks in certain time - you're just worse than other workers.

Literally living in chaos 24/7.

Starting projects and not completing them. Somethings even wanting to start a project but not even starting it...

questioning my diagnosis but also questioning everything about my life and what I know to be true and my sense of self and then the exhaustion of this non-stop inner-critic evaluating every thought or thought pattern that I have

Getting in my own way.

Other people being impatient

Being told it doesn’t fit who I am, because I’m great at compensating, even though my brain is exploding

Everyone thinking that it’s all in my head. That I can just do things like someone without adhd.

All these great ideas with no action. It’s like I am in a cage.

The adhd paralysis, its like a special hell

well always disappointing myself and others because of it .. and the embarrassments I seem to always been stuck in a mind fog. People assume that my brain work the same way as others but it is simply not. Forgetting to do simple tasks that bring alot of frustration from others and it is frustrating myself to because I tell my self that I could always has been done better paralysis between tasks that seems all important and cant getting myself to finish any of them because i go back and forth between those task in my head but physically too that making me lose alot of precious time and make me percieved as slow having to return back home for things i forgot and arriving late to my destination because of it Procrastination tendencies

1. Being late all the time. Even when I've promised not to be. 2. Forgetting everything 3.the frustration caused by knowing im very capable of so much in life, and not being able to achieve those things for no good reason. I do feel better after diagnosis but even after meds I struggle a lot.

It hard that it’s such an internal issue. Like technically it’s a “disability” but because of what it does/makes you act/effects us the rest of the world doesn’t understand. It’s not visible like a missing limb, except it’s just as debilitating not having executive functioning.

Forgetting everything which makes ppl think I don’t care about them and having to explain away my issues constantly 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

for me it’s definitely the fact that i always annoy people for many things caused by my adhd, and definitely the fact that i forget EVERYTHING

I think for me it’s the mental strain of work each day and how much energy it takes away from the things I really either want to do or need to do. I have way too many unfinished projects around the house it’s embarrassing.

Not being able to get the things done I need to get done to improve my mental health

Being called strange and written off for craving deeper conversation and philosophical approaches to life and modern issues.

Tunnel vision I get

The never ending overthinking.....

The ability to not put my thoughts into words. It’s gotten worse over the years. People think I have a problem with my grammar but it’s literally my brain just shooting out whatever words that might make sense.

Where do I start? The inability to get things accomplished. Which leads to a downward spiral of guilt and self-hatred. Having to take a medicine that if I run out of it I’m totally screwed. I’ve been on Adderall for 24 years now. If I don’t have it, I go to ZOMBIFIED I can’t function at all.

Also I have severe ADHD that's was diagnosed until I was 17, and was never treated until recently (12 years later) and three kids, two of which also have adhd. There are no resources where I live, no support groups, and long waits for psychiatrist referrals. I hate trying to teach my kids hope to cope with adhd when I was never taught myself.

I work as a school photographer, I just love when teachers come in during the day to small talk and go off about how adhd is caused by parents letting their kids watch tok much TV and how it's fake 🫠

Not being able to get things done that I need to, and lose my train of thought so I end up spiraling and feeling horrible

Feeling so guilty for being different 😔

That people who don’t struggle with it see it as just a disorder. I find many strengths in the way my brain works. I’ve learned to not waste time on emdevours that really don’t southe my soul even if I find them interesting. I can always do a task if I truly care about it and am given an environment to focus. For me noise cancelling AirPods with low fi hip hop is my happy place. As long as someone doesn’t disrupt my attention for their needs I can focus on completing my task. I’ve come to terms that creating an environment suitable for how my brain works just simply has to be a priority for me to thrive. I make no apologies for it either. I like living alone even if I have a partner. I prefer to sleep alone because another person’s energy in bed can keep me up. I find sleeping with brown noise on or the Schumann resonance on helps me go into deep sleep. I enjoy working as an independent contractor and having my own business because I work for me on my interests. ADHD is just the pure give of honest attention. The trick is finding the tools to find passions and interests that are long lasting or benificial. I can hyper focus on video games but they don’t serve my life well. For years I tried to be a musician and producer but I realized my real talent was my voice and visual artistic expressions. I find that one on one conversations are much more my strength than small group conversations. It’s trial and error but our ultimate task as people with ADHD is to be introspective and self aware to take a mental inventory of what really resonates us and what isn’t for us. Being ourselves is the most important thing. When you’re bad at a job after enough time has passed it usually means our brains are telling us this job just isn’t for us. When we keep starting and stopping a hobby that usually means that hobby isn’t our true interest and we’re more concerned about being interesting ourselves. Yes I understand that many things in life we have to do even though we have a hard time focusing on them. We all know that. But so much of life could be what we actually like and hyper focus on and that’s what all of us should seek out. I love learning through video. I love audiobooks instead of readings. I love long form conversation podcast. I don’t like anime and I can’t explain why. It just doesn’t do anything for me. I love hip hop, bass music, indie rock, blue grass, and 70’s rock. I don’t like techno, heavy metal, and punk music. I don’t have any problem with people who do and I’m happy for them to. I just like what I like and that’s okay. So much of the pain of my adhd is executive function caused by participating in things I don’t like. So I’ve learned over the years the best way to enjoy life is to spend my free time and work focused on what really brings me joy. Not just pleasure but joy. Things that not only I love but that I can share with others or do for others. When wielded right my ADHD brain is a powerful force and not a disorder. I’ve found I have to demand to be understood by others who don’t get me. I show them empathy so they can return it as well. That’s love. I also like to understand other people’s neurodivergence’s and try to accommodate them as best I can because that’s what I hope others will do for me. I thrive mostly working alone. I thrive with my living space as my sanctuary. But I also know too much introversion and alone focus can’t quickly turn into isolation so I focus my time on people who not only fascinate me but treat me well. I try to treat everyone kindly but I’ve learned to close my circle. It’s much better having ten amazing friends than 200 acquaintances. I could go on. The world is not built for us but we can build our world within it. Love you all!

Forgetting what I’m doing when I go to do it..it’s sooooo annoying

The stigma and feeling broken when I struggle to live up to others expectations

People who don’t experience it want to fix it but turn out to only care about the external behaviors. That’s the problem with fixing as help, when helpers who have the insight to understand the underlying mechanisms in order to explore healthier and more productive outcomes - the fixers trigger RSD for me because fixing is subconsciously labeling it a “problem” Which feeds the stigma, which feeds the RSD, which feeds the stigma. I have learned to treasure my ADHD friends who may lend a supportive ear and remind me we aren’t alone despite stigma.

That people assume adhd is only the inability to focus and get easily distracted. For me it’s much more than that. It’s the perfectionism to complete something intill i see it as done. also people see procrastinating as being lazy, but it’s not laziness it’s just i know the importance and want to do well it’s so overwhelming that i put it off even though i know it needs done.

Trouble completing tasks. I'm not hyperactive so if I turn on the TV I can be really sedentary but I've recently found that if I just turn up the music and dont turn on the TV I can get almost everything I want to get done accomplished

Honestly just getting distracted for everything I find just a little boring. I feel like I would’ve been in a better spot if I didn’t get so distracted but hey I’m still here and I’m gonna try to be the best version of me

Knowing I'm smart, but seeming stupid at times.

That most times, people think they’re experts and know how it feels when they know absolutely nothing more than the description on wiki and have barely overcome a common cold without breaking down. *breathes* that felt good to get that off of my chest! Aside from this, just never knowing when a nosedive will occur or when emotions will flood in. It’s like having super powers and it’s taking ridiculously long to learn how to use them. I feel like Ironman. I’ve mastered HOW to build the tech, but haven’t a clue how to actually use it.

How difficult it can be to feel motivated. & the shame & guilt that comes along with it that fully induced ADHD paralysis which only reinforces the guilt & shame. & really thriving under a lot of stress & complexity. Like emails should not cause more stress than a 7 hour exam but they often do. I recognize how irrational it is but also don’t feel like I can logic my way through it

Not being able to work on a task at the same pace or for amount of time as other people when in a group.

Having a messy house and car and having people judge me for it. Also feeling like I was dumb in school and never living up to peoples expectations of me.

Clutter, unorganized home, unfinished projects. The stress and guilt that comes from being overwhelmed by tasks. Inability to focus on school work

The most bothersome thing to me is not so much that I have it but that it was not caught in childhood. Instead I got to spend decades working harder and accomplishing less than peers I know I’m smarter and more creative than all because I didn’t know that I just need different tools and strategies. … and of course the feeling like an alien lol

Having so many incomplete things/projects that I really wanted to do

For me, I think it bothers me most that I always have this perception in my head that people don’t like me. Or I come off as too strong or too chatty. Sometimes I don’t like these things about myself strictly because I feel like to other people they are not normal. I’ve never totally felt like I “fit in” sometimes I feel that I try to imitate the behaviour of people around me to be more appealing or “normal”

"The hardest part about having mental illness.. is people expecting you to behave, as if you don't." - Joker

It bothers me that a lot of people tell me that “everyone has a bit of adhd” and it’s just one of the many brain types there are, not knowing about any of the impacts on life. 🤦‍♀️

Yes! I believe the hardest is the internalized shame of never totally ‘figuring it out’ / ‘there must be something inherently wrong with me”

The symptoms that negative impact others and feel selfish to the people I care about, such as being late and making people wait, interrupting, forgetting things or being clearly last minute with gifts or other thoughtfulness type things. Those bother me because even when my loved ones u derstand I still know it hurts them and feels like I'm sharing in the maintenance of the relationship...like the give and take or courtesy.

And forgetting things

I am embarrassed by my messy house. I realize I am probably the cleanest of my family but I still won’t have company over because I can’t keep up.

My impulses I just can’t seem to shut the f up! When I am bothered at work I just want to leave the scene and many times I just simply can’t and I have to sit there and deal with people especially colleagues drive me nuts!!! When someone is stressed I get stressed too and they see me as a threat since I am the only one who voices the discomfort or difficulty of a situation meanwhile others are living it internally.. I really have no patience and everything seems so slow as if I am in a slow motion movie.. I just want to get things done and I can’t because I have to collaborate with other people!! I love my job hence I decided to solve my issues since I can’t change others I am working on my internal discomfort

I’m always very embarrassed of never finishing projects. I’m frequently super pumped and excited to learn new things or do something interesting, then I get people excited too, but I never get to the end of it. It got to the point where I don’t even bother to tell people about my plans or projects because I fear that I will give up midway and people will be disappointed.

My rejection sensitivity disorder

It didn't bother me until I had my daughter and she started struggling in school because of it. I feel bad for her struggles but worse because of how she's been treated.

I prefer to not think about my ADHD not as a stigmatised diagnose, but as… my brain is just different from the others. It has its strong points, it has it’s weaknesses, but we can work with what we have

Unable to comprehend, no energy, memory loss

How much I beat myself up despite knowing it’s not all negative and that it’s internalised ableism

It depends on the environment. Avoid people who cannot understand that invisible illnesses are real and that everyone has at least one of them.