depressomesso avatar
depressomesso
1
11 months ago

Have you ever lost focus because of your love interest?

I have a huge problem at work, which consists of a love interest in the face of a coworker. Sparks fly, passionate stares are shared, teasing each other is ensured and my smile reaches the heavens. But... this whole situation has taken me out of my 'i hate this work' mentality which actually helped me perform better. He was reprimanded by a close friend of his that he is distracting me and now he is closed off and I am indeed performing better... but I miss us, I miss what we had and most of all I miss the joy I had when I went to work... have you ever gone through something similar?

moajune avatar
moajune
11mo

Sounds like a tricky situation and I can feel you- although I never had this situation so far- but I remember the feeling of being all hyped up to reach a place because crush will be there- even if it wasn’t „mutual“ and I was only fangirling… How well do you know each other- do you know more than each others name? Do you know personal information like hobbies/if he has a pet- what kind of food or movies he likes? If he likes to go clubbing owl through the night or rather prefers a walk in the sunny daylight? I am asking this because the question is- how serious you would like to have it- or how deeply he might care for you! In the end- if you find out it is all about playing only and you „wasted“ your time in hopes and dreams that didn’t lead to anything you might feel betrayed. So in case you are interested in growing the contact into something real, not just merely shy, muted, eye contact- and only know little about him (which of course males it all the more interesting at the moment) but you (both?) are the introvert type- try to find a cute playful way to let him receive a message (preferably not digital) Do you know what kind of snacks he likes? If so, you could try to think of ways to deliver it to him including a little „anonymous“ note without anyone knowing it is you- do you maybe have friends who could place it there so you won’t be seen by his friend? Another possible way to get in touch with him/get s conversation started that is not as sneaky as the snack w/ note idea would be to throw a comment that is designed for a situation you might be in st the same moment, maybe if you „accidentally“ meet him somewhere>> maybe when heading for lunch break, or when you notice he just left the room you could act like you need to make a quick a phone call or something which makes you need to leave the room a minute later or so than him - and chances might be to run into him on his way back you night just say smile to him and say hi , same if you decide to leave the room next time because you want to get a snack and stand full of indecisiveness infront of the snack machine- maybe he will ask what’s up! You could also act as if you don’t have the right coins and search through your wallet for some time after previously „preparing“ it with mostly small coins/big bills the machine wouldn’t take..maybe he offers to help you out! Or as previously mentioned if you should be lucky to meet him in lunch break you could male a comment about the menu or ask if he has tried this and that yet…or say you still haven’t decided which one to choose etc.. The goal you want to be heading to with moves like these should be to maybe meet up for a coffee date one day- having lunch together would be a great start- you could also recommend a place if you see he really eats xy quite often and say sth like oh have you ever been to that place? You MUST try it! (For this idea of course you should choose a food place that isn’t too famous yet in your area/just opened/ has mostly good reviews and maybe something original on the menu- maybe you want to „show it to him“ when you found out he likes a certain type of food you might be saying something like - oh you like xy? I hear of that place that just opened/is known for having awesome… would you mind to join me ? I don’t know in which work environment you are set/ if these tips could be realized at all but maybe it is helpful in some way :)

depressomesso avatar
depressomesso
11mo

Hi! First of all, thank you for the time you took to write me your advice, I appreciate it! 🖤 Now, the part where it is tricky is that I know his favourite snacks, his favourite hobby, that he has started raising chickens and many more things as this has been going on a few painful months. Initially, he was really closed off as was I, because he is the best friend of my boss (drama much?) And I didn't know what to make of him... but as time passed and we bonded over music and other stuff, we opened up a lot. The thing is that he had suggested he come over to my house but I was very self conscious because of how small it was (just a bedroom with a small bathroom) and I told him as such. I suggested that he could take me to his house but he said to me that he still lives with his parents and is also uncomfortable with that... After many interactions and when I say many I mean it, he got drunk and came over at work on his day off to see me where he kissed me, something I couldn't really process to be honest. That's the only time he has been really expressive about his feelings, and I'll never forget it and I thought we were gonna be more expressive to each other in general. In the end, it doesn't matter. He is a lost cause, he is immature despite his age and he is never gonna communicate like a human being with me. There is also the matter of our manager who is a really close friend of his, that has admitted of being in love with me openly and privately and who initially tried to get us together but kind of put a wedge between us one time but we got through that I think...

Add comment