Were you a restless child? One of my mother's first memories of my childhood was that I didn't want to sleep during the day at all, she had the feeling that I was afraid of missing something. In primary school years, I was a tomboy, I liked to break the peace and rules. In old age, hyperactivity disappeared, but attention deficit remained. I just recently found out about my ADHD and it answered a lot of questions for me
Mine was extremely traumatic on several levels. Aside from that, I was a straight A student K-12…but one thing always resounded, “You’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached!” The fact that I was a straight A student, who didn’t do drugs or drink or even have sex…I took this as such an insult to the one thing I thought I was: smart. Now I know I was and am intelligent. I hate that it’s the one good thing I believe about myself that was taken from me in a hell of a childhood, and continues to be misunderstood as I deal with the mental health issues that came from that childhood (PTSD, severe anxiety, compulsive behaviors, severe insecurities, and hyper vigilance that exhausts me).
Wow...I could have written this exact comment. I'm so sorry you went through this too, but know you're not alone. I felt the same way and had the same absolute crushing despair and feeling of utter failure when my dad told me I'd lose my head and that I needed to "grow up"...which he only ever said when I would disagree with him or try to make my own decisions...fast forward to my mid-30's where I get crippling anxiety trying to make ANY decision, as major as moving to another state and as minor as what to eat for dinner. My favorite college advisor told me that once too, and it completely deflated any scrap of confidence I had in myself. I was also a straight A student K-12 who never drank or partied in high school, graduated high school with my AA degree and then finished my BS in 2 years. So when he said that, I was technically a senior at a university but I was only 19 - so of course I still needed to grow up, but I never understood why anyone would say that about me because I was SOOO obsessed with being perfect and smartest and first and best, I was beyond burnt out mentally and emotionally by always trying to please everyone else and not get "in trouble".
Oh, I also had difficulties with sleeping because of the fear of missing something. I remember that I wanted to learn knitting, and it seemed really difficult for me - but as our Mom told us to have a daytime nap, I didn’t sleep at all, I took those knitting stuff and finally learned knitting a base chain just because of my protest vs sleeping time 🌚🌝
i don't remember but very few things about it. it's all blurry .
I am so happy for your diagnosis. I hope you are able to grow and learn more about yourself
