Hyperfixation on self-improvement

I also do this, but have never put it into words. I suppose going forward to be mindful the next time someone else brings up areas they think you should improve to make sure that You actually agree, and would like to see improvement in those areas too. Then you would be improving yourself for you, and not other people. As for trying to "fix yourself" please don't. There's nothing wrong with you. Try not to give so much weight to what other people think of you whether they're family or not. I know; easier said than done. I have been there, and I overcame that hurtle. It's hard, but totally possible! Take any opinion anyone has ever had about you, and everything anyone has ever said about you, and throw it out of your brain. Once you've done that ask yourself "Do I like myself?" I'm not talking about if you like your flaws. I'm talking asking if you like you? Your personality, your likes and interests, the things others do that make you happy, the things you do that make you happy, your hobbies, your things you do for fun. Do you like those things about yourself? If yes, than it doesn't matter if anyone else is happy with who you are. What's important is that You are happy with who You are! If you answered no then prioritize working on the areas of you that you aren't happy with until you are! Everybody has flaws! Unfortunately us ADHDer's have flaws that everyone else can see in our time blindness, disorganization, and personal hygiene. Everyone else has flaws we can't see like PTSD, narcissistic family members, unhealthy boundaries, so many masks and thick towering walls they don't even know who they really are anymore, chronic pain, other health problems outside the brain. Just because your flaws can be seen, and theirs can't doesn't make one better or worse. It just makes it different. Love yourself for who you are! Work on things that You want to change. Anyone that can't/won't/doesn't accept that quite honestly just doesn't need to be in your life. Find people who love You for You, and will support and encourage you. Surround yourself with those people, and throw the other people out along with their opinions and negativity towards you! You are worthy of happiness! You are awesome just the way you are!... with a few minor flaws you gotta work on

I learned that it was my Dyslexic(OCD) not sure if you are dyslexic too but ADHD and dyslexic effects the same parts of the brain so I would imagine it would be almost the same cause, we was born with very creative minds so we naturally look for ways to improve even the littlest of things. I was told that it was a huge part of human evolution n will play a more massive role in the future

I had never put it into words, but this is exactly what happens to me. I have bought so many things that are to "help" get organized etc. and they just sit there after the initial fixation... The "hope" that this one thing (app, hack, whatever) will fix me completely is emotionally exhausting. I've recently started trying to educate my family on the issues for us neurodivergent peeps, and I usually get the eyeroll or the "what does that have to do with you not being on time? cleaning your apartment? getting your work done?" So I get discouraged and realize the hyperfixation has ended, and I'll never be "fixed." then comes depression and feelings of not being valuable because I am not like my neurotypical family.

I wonder if it’s because each suggestion becomes a possible “answer” to “fix ourselves” (once for all!) and so we hyperfixate at first due to hope and then it fizzles out. Ultimately the only way to deal with that feeling of needing to be “fixed” for us neurodivergent folks is likely emotional self regulation. I think it’s the fundamental base. And letting go of the need for approval beyond our own inner guide.