tania avatar
tania
1
10 months ago

How serious do they take your ADHD?

Another important question for me: how do your close people take your ADHD? My husband thinks it doesn't exist, total depreciation. He says I'm using it as an excuse. And this is so sad for me. My friends totally accept my condition and they are supporting me. Did you experience the same? Is it possible to explain that ADHD is not an excuse and can't be fully cured? Share your thoughts, pls.

timeisfake avatar
timeisfake
10mo

Adhd is a disability, it’s not just being unfocused and hyper. Sadly most people don’t want to see that… my friends are all neurodivergent themselves so I couldn’t be more grateful but my family never believed it’s anything more than me being forgetful. When I forget really important appointments, chores or just the sentence they said 1sec ago they get mad and say I’m faking my forgetfulness bc i’m lazy…I explained myself way too many times but they still don’t get it

cormzzz avatar
cormzzz
10mo

everyone thinks it’s like “not actually a big deal” and you only need meds to feel “wired” and do work/school but i feel like a lot of people miss that ADHD is largely an emotional disrupt or too! like, understanding how ADHD affects my relationships was a HUGE game changer

neuroart007 avatar
neuroart007
10mo

They say once you find out and are diagnosed you then realize all of your friends have it too because subconsciously we chose similar friends but yes... Even though my husband lives with conditions slightly different he makes me feel like i use it to get out of things [no different than if i have a headache] and extended family? Or therapist etc literally they all think I'm full of bs💔 i needed a new psych doc because i can't afford my current one and complete and intake evaluation the other day In 5 minutes over the phone this guy said well you don't have adhd so... We will just put depression down... I bet many of us have heard that before! Yes... Have had depression for as long as i can remember and no medications with for it and i finally found someone 2 years ago that told me yes it's adhd and ever since I've been on meds and healing and learning about the adhd brain I've been progressing and doing better little by little. It sucks because you get excited that something finally makes since and everyone fits like a puzzle but you still don't have the support or anyone believes you, still a huge stigma attached💔

moodmod avatar
moodmod
10mo

I am specially looking for ND psych. I think maybe you need someone skilled in Neurodiversity and ADHD in your gender. Most psychs won’t get it, they need to be well versed in it to help you. I suggest trying other apps in addition to this one to get the most help for adhd. In terms of using it to get out of things I guess that is something you need to negotiate together what you can and can’t do and when. Maybe you partner needs to learn more about adhd too to understand you better

tania avatar
tania
10mo

Yes, 💯 it fits like a puzzle 🧩 I felt a relief when I was diagnosed, it explained my entire life. And yes, I have had depression since I remember myself. And this attitude like ADHD is not a big deal is just killing me inside. And I didn't know we subconsciously choose ADHD friends, I thought it just a coincidence XD

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
10mo

Njjk

aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
10mo

Nice

CJReiner avatar
CJReiner
10mo

I’m so sorry your husband hasn’t been supportive. I do have a point to the winding path I’m about to type out, stick with me… My husband is very responsible and regimented. Like he just decides to do something and immediately does the thing, which is WILD to me. When we first started dating he didn’t really know much about ADHD. He did believe it was real, but had no idea how much it affects a person’s life. And NO, unfortunately medication doesn’t 100% resolve all symptoms like magic. It isn’t simply “oh no I don’t have a good attention span,” there is so so sooo much more to it. My husband and I both have anxiety, and we discuss mental health openly. What really clicked for him was me comparing anxiety with ADHD in that it isn’t a choice we make, it’s something we have to overcome and cope with on a regular basis. Once he understood that I can’t will myself to not have ADHD in the same way he can’t just will himself to never feel anxious, he became incredibly supportive and has been for years now. I don’t know if that was a helpful anecdote or not; but the idea is that if you can relate to your husband in a similar manner maybe he will be more empathetic. Wishing you luck! It’s tough to have people assume our ADHD symptoms are negative personality traits that we have full control over :(

CJReiner avatar
CJReiner
10mo

I know what you mean, it’s so hard to explain it to people who don’t experience it… like no I literally can’t just do the thing I want to do because my brain doesn’t wanna right now. Yes both of those are technically me but….. It feels like pressing the gas pedal and holding the brakes at the same time.

tania avatar
tania
10mo

Thank you for sharing your story. It is very supportive for me. I will definitely try to explain it to my husband but I don't think he will accept this info :( He can't believe that you can't do what you need to do or what you want to do and it is hardly can be controlled even with meds. Thank you again for your support

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