Parents can fail you...

And they can sabotage you. My ADHD is not the big challenge I face. It's the constant toxicity I grew up with and copied and learnt to be normal. Instead of support, I got self-blame Instead of responsibility, I got guilt reversal Instead of apologies, I got excuses Instead of respect, I got disregard Somehow my mom managed to undermine ANY attempt of mine to develop a sense of purpose and self respect and standing up for myself and others, she taught me to shut down and freeze. I wasn't allowed to act. I had to be blamed for being too embarrassing. Other people's needs were way bigger than mine. My worries are not worth to worry about. I was just too lazy and weird and loud. I was never good enough... My childhood depressions just a phase and to get attention... No. My ADHD would be a breeze to handle... If I only could accept that I am allowed to be. And allowed to grow Now I have to unlearn all that and learn all that. Yes parents can fail you. And they never learn to take their responsibility. But It's not YOU that is their fault. It is THEIR fault failing you. ♥️ One day I will know this for real

Posts and comments here share personal experience — not medical advice. For treatment questions, talk to a clinician.

helloooo:)

5mo

I feel like I could have written this. I see you and what you went through! 💙💕

swedish boy

5mo

I talked with dad about this cuz my dad is like more strict then any of my friends parents and he will like punish me everytime i like break rules and like all my behaviour results in consequences. He have taught me the all feelings are allowed but not all behaviour and if I’m angry then I can tell that to people around me but I can not let my angry feeling be projected at them so my choices are to handle and hold back my anger and be nice to ppl around me or choose to take a time out and go to my room or go out ans fight the trees in the forest. I can also ask dad or another importent person about help to calm down or if I just need to talk and most time he will help me but if it’s not possible then I have no right to like get a tantrum but instead wait until he have the time . IF I don’t do my part and chose a way and instead behave bad then I will get punished- normally by been sent to my room for a fixed amount of time. But dad never tell me I’m stupid or embarrassing or anything like that. He only tell me nice things about he is proud of me then I have achieved something and that he loves me and stuff. But he can say bad things about my behaviour like: “then you behave like a spoiled brat you embarrass both yourself and me and other ppl that see it will think leas another you. He say that he think rewards and punishments are much better to use for helping me behave in a more accepted way and to help me be the best person I can be. He is oldfascion and have a lot of rules about how to talk, how to show respect for adults, how to control feelings so I will not be controlled by my feelings and so on and I have not so much freedom as my friends cuz he say I still can’t manage that and it would be evil of him to give me freedom that I can’t handle cuz no one can have freedom with out responsibility and to much freedom give a child lots of guilt cuz they fail to take responsibility for it and that make a kid weak, sad and even depressed and also make the kid lose selfrespect. Idk about that but I know my dad are a really smart man and he lives me to the moon and back and I love him even more so I think he do a good job even if I don’t like to get punishment of course- but no one like that. It like the whole point with it 🤣

I like bugs

5mo

Honestly I've learned a lot from just talking to chat gpt even if it's not the best option. I've noticed how much my mom is blaming or guilt tripping me and that she doesn't care as much for my mental and physical health. She can't even manage her own emotions and mental health and at some point I have to tell her what to do

I like bugs

5mo

I know it sounds stupid considering that I'm just a kid and probably don't know better

helloooo:)

5mo

Heard! I found an ADHD therapist who helped me see that I’m not a horrible human being…I have emotionally immature parents who were not so friendly to me. I have taken a break from talking to them on a regular basis and it’s been a lot better for me. It’s still difficult, but I have to accept that they won’t change.

Blabla

5mo

It’s good on point!

LookASquirrel

5mo

When I got diagnosed, the things my parents said to me as a kid kept running through my head because they were signs of ADHD. But I think they did the best they could, especially not knowing then what we know now. That’s why “This Be The Verse” by Phillip Larkin is my favorite poem. (Not much of a poetry person to begin with.)

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