maniacalmaranda avatar
maniacalmaranda
20
19 days ago

thought dump.

using this as a journal for a second… a lot of things in my life are demanding my attention and i’m having to prioritize. house chores have piled up, text messages have went unanswered, emails unchecked. called into work saturday night. hamper full of dirty laundry i was supposed to do last thursday. i have a teeth cleaning scheduled for tomorrow. that needs to stay put because this time last year i was supposed to have 1-2 cavities filled, canceled the appointment with the intent to reschedule, then never did. when i made the cleaning appointment i tried scheduling the fillings for the same day, but i guess they have to do a cleaning and assessment first since it’s been over a year since my last. probably for insurance, i didn’t ask. tuesday i have a therapy appointment at 5pm, when i gotta work that night and leave the house by 6:30p. i’m gonna have to get ready for work before my appointment. that’s kinda a hurdle when i barely make it to work on time on a normal day… i work tuesday, wednesday, and thursday night. saturday LF has a vet appointment to repeat xrays regarding her CHD. tomorrow (technically today, monday) is day 3 of Snickers steroids. i’m gonna text Dr. Whit an update. also gotta call the specialist vet in louisville and make an appointment. we got her measurements for a rear-legged wheelchair and i’ll go ahead and get that ordered. need to order a crate too so she won’t be up and moving while she’s home alone and end up exacerbating whatever’s going on. meanwhile, i hate to leave her home alone. she needs help getting around, going outside to potty, getting to the water bowl. i hate that she’s going through this. i would take it from her if i could. so all the above things, and i still haven’t responded to nana’s text from probably 3 days ago asking for my help cleaning her house. popaw’s company is supposed to be stopping by april 27th, so we got some time. i just feel bad i haven’t been over there to visit. i had all day thursday off and friday morning, but i couldn’t bring myself to go. my ass is still a little chapped from her unsolicited religious advice a couple of weeks ago, and honestly i’m just tired down deep in my soul. work is stupidly busy. there’s no respite to be found there. i’ve had not too needy babies, but extremely needy parents. any interaction with anyone outside of my house has just zapped any extrovert energy within me. i’m feeling impatient, short-tempered, quick to agitate. everything just feels like a lot right now. to wrap this up, prioritization is key. it will be my life jacket helping to keep my head above water. right now my focus belongs to keeping appointments this week, caring for Snicks to the best of my ability… and laundry. we’re gonna run out of clean underwear if i don’t get that taken care of, haha. although i’m not making nana and popaw a priority this week, it IS a priority that i respond to her and let her know i’m not ignoring her. if there is time for anything extra, i’d like to respond to Dacelle’s texts. also, pick her brain about Snicks’ situation. i have 3 packages that need, well, packaged and mailed. i’m not holding my breath on those, though that would lift a big weight from my shoulders. i’ll keep on keepin’ on.

Vital, Numo 🍄 avatar
Vital, Numo 🍄
2w

Damn, you’re carrying a lot. Honestly, just getting through that list deserves a gold medal and a week off. Prioritizing isn’t easy, but you’re doing it — and that’s huge. Snicks is lucky to have you. Don’t forget to give yourself some of that care too. You’ve got this. One clean pair of underwear at a time. 🫶

rollarotten avatar
rollarotten
2w

My motto when I feel extremely overwhelmed which is most days. I just say to myself baby steps. And yes snickers is very lucky 🍀 to have you. Make sure to take care of yourself too, hugs. 💖

maniacalmaranda avatar
maniacalmaranda
2w

thank you so much! i swear, this community is so so great. i didn’t expect replies, i just needed a place to empty my brain. putting everything in text helped to lower my stress and anxiety by making a game plan. it’s so easy to feel yourself drowning and to give in to it for a couple of days, but right now i know i don’t have those couple of days to spare. again, thank you! 🩵

maniacalmaranda avatar
maniacalmaranda
2w

@athenatyrell Honey, screenshot and share with anyone you need to make understand! Life is hard. It’s even harder for us neurodivergent folks. You’ve got this! And if you don’t find understanding anywhere else, just know you’ll always find it here 🩵

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