Simp is a term my kid used to define someone who is hopelessly devoted to one individual, more than what is healthy. Loyalty is a standard characteristic of a healthy relationship. Where do you draw the line? How do you know if/when you cross(ed) it? How do you maintain a healthy balance? I ask because I struggle with swinging on the pendulum from one extreme of indifference to the other extreme of simp….
“simp” can be used to define a guy who’s overly affectionate and doesn’t mean it, and is only doing it to try and get the girl, or it can be used to mean when your whole life revolves around your S.O. I would define the difference between the second def. and loyalty by when you stop taking care of your own needs because they’re more important to you. Try focusing on self love and taking care of yourself physically and emotionally throughout the relationship, doing regular check ins. Dont sacrifice what you believe for their sake, and be true to yourself and your feelings. Maintain yourself as a woman, not just a wife or mother.
I’m finally learning at nearly 50 yo the concept of “Empathy without boundaries leads to self destruction.” My husband and family joke that I collect “stray” people to help and uplift much to my own detriment. I have a tendency to care and worry so much about everyone else that I burn myself out, which eventually impacts my mental and physical well being.
Hi- it sounds like what you’re really talking about is attachment. Being a simp is being overly attached and possibly codependent. Maybe there is a link between adhd and hyperfixation on individuals? I’m not sure if I can answer the question but if you’re not familiar, I’d recommend reading up on the 4 attachment styles.
Do you have a reference or book title?
For me being a "simp" is usually specific to someone, usually a man, who goes out of his way to defend, advocate for, and devote himself to someone, usually a woman, with the specific intent of getting some sort of sexual gratification - as in, if he simps for her long enough, she will sleep with him. I think there are absolutely ways to draw boundaries between yourself and others, though I don't think from the sounds of it you would be categorized as a simp. That being said, one way to draw a boundary is to consider if your defense of someone is because you believe in their actions, or if it's just because you like them.
