Always too late

I, too, struggle with this. For me it's the time blindness - I never really know how long certain things take, like how long will it take me to brush my teeth and get out the door? A lot longer than I think it will, but it's hard to remember that when I'm planning my days. I am experimenting with telling myself it will take an obscene amount of time to get ready. Like, an hour to pack up and get ready to leave. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Reminding myself that if I think something will take 30 minutes, to give myself 90.

This use to be me. Everyone always expected it, even had an ex tell me an event started a half hour earlier then it did so I actually ended up showing up on time. I always add and extra 15 minutes to how long I think I will take to get ready and I set 3 different alarms or reminders. The first goes off when I need to get up and start getting ready. The second goes off 5-10 minutes before I have to leave, letting me know it’s time to hurry up, and the third when I need to be heading out the door. I always add extra time to my expected commute and expected getting ready time too. Since starting this I’ve been actually pretty good at being on time to things recently

Ok, hi 👋🏽 I have a solution to being a late and time management. It’s kind of a life hack. I use to be late all the time everywhere especially work no matter how hard I tried taking accountability on the time of travel and getting ready etc. Till one day I was tired of living my life in a rush and having anxiety because of it and ruining my whole day because of it. Now I’m the best with time management. Here’s the hack. Go to work at 9am ? That’s on your time sheet you need to be there at that time… but you like coffee or morning errands like me starbie run.. I tell myself the night before I got to work at 8 am. By 7:30 I’m out grabbing Starbs by 6am I’m getting ready and I live at peace with myself and so forth.. tell yourself that it’s earlier than it is at least an hour depending on distance if close an hour if far two hours in advance and believe that your late if your on time.

This is me. I wish I had a solution

My family always tell me the event is happening an hour before it actually does because they know I'll always be late 😂 I heard setting the time on your phone/clocks to he half an hour earlier than it is can be quite helpful but I've not tried it myself yet xx

I know the struggle and over the years I developed an unhealthy fear of being too late. I am paralyzed before an appointment. Sometimes hours or even days before. On the plus side, I don’t do things that might distracting from leaving in time but the stress is exhausting.

If the lights in your house are run through Google or apps (some of mine are Globe smart bulbs) then you could schedule them all to turn off or do something dramatic when it’s time to leave. Nothing makes me want to be out the door faster then suddenly being in the dark, and I let my roommate run the app so I can’t just turn them back on.

I tell my self I have to be there an hour early. So the event starts at 11:30. I tell my self I have to ne there at 1030

Oh I know this feeling ....

For what it's worth, I think most of us recognize this, even if we may not have an answer you probably haven't thought of yourself already ... *Hugs* At the very least.. try to forgive yourself for what you can't change anymore.. You can't go back, but tomorrow isn't written by anyone but ourselves... Try again and never stop trying again.. Let people see your struggle.. some will judge. They are not your friends. Many will recognize this as well though.. and those people just may be.. Also.. don't go by people's expectations. No one will be "mad" if you show up on time.. and literally everyone knows how awkward it can be when you walk in when everyone else is already there.. Have you considered leaving early enough to grab yourself something to drink? It may help you build in a little buffer time if you plan to grab a soda or coffee or whatever *before* you're supposed to meet people. It works for me sometimes.. No one needs to know that a moment of self-care is basically a way of building in a little extra time because you tend to run late.. bribe yourself. You are literally the only one legally allowed to do that ;) ❤️

There is no doubt whatsoever that I will be late to my own funeral. There is simply no way around it!

time blindness is the worst for me. I set clocks 12 minutes ahead, set alarms, prepare ahead... Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.

So I have every clock/watch in my home and work environment set 10 min ahead. 15 or more is too much time for me. I have a “must be ready by X” time and I’m good at this by now bc 10 min cushion time is my sweet spot. I acknowledge I am mostly time blind so when I’m ready by X time I still have 10 min to take a breath. Everyone in my home is on board and helps tremendously with kids too

For me, the struggle starts the night before because I keep forcing myself to stay awake even though my body is trying to go to sleep. I don’t know why I do that but I wish I didn’t. Having an “Out the Door” checklist helps in the morning.

It’s bizarre, but I’ll be late when I know it’s “allowed.” I had a job where if I was late, I would be fired. I was never late. I’m still late in life, at times…but not as much since that job. Maybe put some pressure on yourself (a consequence) to show up on time?

Totally get what you’re saying. Wish I had advice that works for me… I worked hybrid jobs for 11 years. When I lived less than 5 miles from the offices for most of those years I was 10-15 minutes late almost always! Then, when I moved (20miles from ofc) I was 15-30 min late (twice a week in ofc) 🤦🏻‍♀️ It’s exhausting and frustrating to hear the same advice all the time! My brain literally can not manage time. somehow I lose track of time getting ready, whether I get up 2 hours early or wake up late!

Mind hack?

You could always psych yourself out by setting your clocks 30 mins early. I only set one 15 mins back but its enough to get me thinking about getting to somewhere on time

I know exactly what you are talking about. The best, best thing is to have a true friend that you decide to meet up with 15 minutes before - and the friend is in on you likely being late to the 15 minutes before, but just a little so then you’ll be around 10 minutes early for the real time. Not often there are friends like that, but worth thinking about. Also I have realised I feel uneasy about being early (perhaps because I used to be so socially awkward or am afraid of comments like “oh, you are early for a change”, but first of all I know I am socially capable now and also I have some capacity to laugh at myself (I could just say “happy that you noticed, I am happy that I made it early, too). The automatic shame paralysis still gets activated around being on time still, and being aware of it helps somewhat, so rather than push it away, to embrace the reality. Okay, I am feeling crap because I don’t want to be late. Now let’s focus on this, do I really have everything packed, do I have my clothes in, have I washed my face et c?. Can I know that when my alarm gets of to GO I can really just GO? If yes, then I can allow myself to do other things and not let one appointment be a binary choice between doing nothing else than thinking of the appointment or letting myself focus on something else and likely be late. I think you might understand what I mean.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Say you wake up at 10 am and need to leave at 11 am that means you’ve got an hour to get ready so give yourself an hour/the same time and get everything ready in the evening, so that includes shower, bag, outfit, care keys. everything ! This way you avoid spending more time on doing the task that you usually do in an hour . I hope that helps.

I set alarms. I have the exact same problem. So after prepping your bag and put your items on ya launch pad set an alarm for you to wake up. When it’s time to get up just hit snooze but get up and do everything you need to (wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, etc). You don’t hit stop on the alarm until you are in the car moving.