Self care?? (turns into rambling about other things)

Does anyone else struggle to legitimately think of “self-care” activities they want to (or do) make time for as a routine? Whenever this is suggested I am always at such a loss and I don’t know why…there are plenty of things that I enjoy doing, but I also spend most of the time I am doing those things feeling guilty because I’m usually doing them to avoid doing something else- I’m assuming that has to do with ADHD (lol we love it). Also, I just generally find it hard to wrap my mind around sticking to a schedule/routine that no one is holding me to or being affected by but myself. Especially when it comes to making time for “self-care,” I have never been successful with consistency because I guess I just feel like I don’t really have to stick to it if there’s something else I need/want to do (since the only one I’m accountable to is myself). Last thought that reminds me of- does anybody else struggle HARD with having any level of self-accountability?? I am the BIGGEST people pleaser, but that’s all twisted around the wayside when it comes to anything I’m doing purely for my own acknowledgment…this ultimately does affect my performance at my job, relationships, etc. because I guess my brain just ignores the fact that even if I’m only letting myself down in the moment it DEFINITELY does lead to disappointing other people and/or letting them down. (Prime example: being CONSTANTLY late by RIDICULOUS amounts of time for NO valid reason- immediate stress for me, but then obvious inconvenience for others that will ultimately make me feel even worse!) Did not think I was going to write so much!! I don’t normally brain dump like this on public forums/platforms or whatever you call this, but this felt like a safe place to be real and not just get all the same responses from people who don’t understand. If it were me, I probably would not read this once I saw how long it was- so cheers to you if put up with me! Thank you for making me feel seen.❤️

bebeblu

Hey! I identify with everything you’re describing! I find it really hard to keep a routine of self care, especially with exercise! I have one tip though: go for a walk and have an “end goal”. Walking is usually good for me because there are things to look around for and distractions! I try to put an “end goal” to the park near my house; you can even take a book with you or music to listen to once you get to your goal. I find that when Im exercising for the sake of exercising i often get bored and unmotivated

ADOoooPretty

Self care is an ADHD thing for sure. As for your people pleasing and being on time, do some research on Rejection Sensitivity Disorder(RSD), and Time Blindness. These are both disorders highly associated with people that have ADHD. doing your research isn't going to make these things go away. They will always be struggles, however understanding what they are, and how they affect you is a powerful start to figuring out how to combat it!

alyzzamariee

I relate to the "doing self-care tasks but feeling guilty about it" and I have found that feeling guilty while doing the tasks makes them NOT self-care.... Try doing something you need to do for 10 minutes, and then do your self-care afterwards? It might help your self-care time not be riddled with guilt. Don't worry about consistency, just do what you can, when you can. And yes self-accountability is so hard! I don't have any suggestions for that, I'm late to everything I don't want to do (work, doctors appts, etc) but I can be right on time when it's something I enjoy lol. And lastly, I read every word! You're right, this is such a great safe space to share and I'm thankful you did! ❤️

Jbird

I definitely struggle with self care... especially putting it into routine. Everything seems to make its way before it on the lists. I think the root of it for me is putting everyone first because I have a lot of abandonment and neglect issues. Also... I find stuff like skin care and exercising boring lol. Sooo I've recently been trying to exercise in ways I find fun... instead of the gym, I go for a hike. I think a huge part of people pleasing is rooted in our perception of our self worth... fortunately Ive moved past this once I realized I have very few people I can say actually care for me. So having the knowledge that other peoples standards and expectations will never be met.... I focus on meeting my own goals but with gentleness and grace. It's really helped me heal and put things into priorities that lead to a more balanced healthy life. Still have a very looong road but baby steps over time still get you somewhere.

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