jirouzadie avatar
8 months ago

I need help

I feel like I don’t deserve to live if I don’t please everyone,Idk why but if I know someone doesn’t like me I break down and want to die,I want to please everyone even the ones I know hurt me,but I want to stop but I can’t

callmemaddy avatar

I feel like religion helped me out of that. That's the reason why I was looking for answers and personally found them in the Quran

sublucky avatar

I am exactly the same will work to make even the most obvious narrcisist or bully happy… when I was younger I felt like you about this and let it affect myself esteem in a negative way..😔 but like just about everything we face with ADHD there the curse and the superhuman I think you should definitely Foucault on the Superhuman side here. I found that my people pleasuring lead me to promotions at work. I have been very successful as a project manager but using the super human side of my adhd and then the self esteem this gave me energized me to take on the traights the made this hard. I guess you place so much pressure on your self as the please others means they can accept and forgive your bad traights. But you are to focused on the what and not the why… maybe when you find out about some one not liking you next think about the why… are they just not liking you cause they don’t people please and feel guilty they when they come across a superhuman people pleaser they move to attack you…. Then I guess they are you next project keep working to please them proving how the world should treat each other… but also know it’s possible you will only lead them to not like you more… for all the wrong reasons but that’s life … let them do them … you do you and Rock on!

whatever777 avatar

You absolutely deserve to live. I don’t think there’s a genuine way to please everyone without sacrificing your own happiness in the process. Naturally there will be those who appreciate you for who you are and others who won’t. But that’s ok because it helps you find the people meant to be around you that much easier. You’re allowed to step away from friendships or relationships that do not help you grow or even aim to tear you down. It’s not necessary to please everyone but understandable why you would want to. It’s really hard not to want to make someone smile or make them happy because you thought of them and decided to get them their favorite drink (or whatever), but when it’s not reciprocated it ends up hurting you due to how one sided the caring is, unfortunately. It’s an awful feeling but with time you can make it a point to take care of yourself too. You are important and deserve the love you selflessly aim to show others without feeling bad about it

lizzyczubak avatar

I have been struggling with this for literal years. I put everyone else’s needs before my own. I’ve been in therapy for a great number of years on and I finally found a therapist who understands what I’m dealing with at least a little bit. I would suggest seeing a therapist because they can help you focus on yourself before everyone else. I know when to setup my boundaries and how I can navigate my way through life doing things for myself instead of for other people. Just try it, and if you don’t like it, look on the internet for things that help others self care and make some of them apart of your routine.

rodricklover avatar

I relate so much to this youre not alone! Just remember there will always be ignorant people out there WHOs got internalized insecurities and TAKES it out on others and judges because theyre scared of being judged themselvs. I usually just think that for them to hate others for no reason Theyre proboably dealing with stuff on their own and They have some kind of reason behind what theyre doing to be acting that way. Its not ok for them to do that but it helps me not taking it to personal over time

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